Planet in the Fog
by Spake2121
Summary: "You ever met a woman who was as simple as she first seemed to be Jim?" "No...I guess not sir." "Missions are a lot like that." Come for the adventure to a mysterious, alien planet aboard the Enterprise, stay for the Kirk/OC romance.
1. Chapter 1

**Prologue— Tea and Fog**

Out past the core planets of Federation Space, past the loose outer belt of terraform mining and colonization planets, which are something like the Wild West of the Federation, at the edge of the Salt Flats (a dense belt of non-class M planets with high levels of salt crystals in their soils that give them bright sheens in their suns) lies the sector known as the Doldrums. At the edge of the Doldrums the Salt Flats bunch together even more closely to form an almost sphere a few light years across. On the other side Klingon Space bends in to touch the other side of the sphere and press up against the Salt Flats.

When the Doldrums were discovered by William "Billy" Graves and his band of settlers in the early part of the twenty-third century it was immediately clear to them that it was this ring of planets that allowed the accumulation of pentacryptalene gas that filled the Doldrums. Gravitational calculations suggested that there was some sort of super dense mass at the center but the colonists and the federation were content to remain ignorant on that point. For though the Doldrums are only approximately a light-year across, the pentacrypatlene gas meant that it was impossible to move than about warp two.

Any faster movement would create eddies in the gas would become unstable, igniting huge plumes of vivid purple flame-like reactions that could destroy a starship. It was this fact that had given the sector it's romantic name, the Doldrums, after those stretches of ocean on ancient earth where the wind died and sailors were stranded for weeks moving only on the power of rowing. The trip to the center would take roughly a month and there was no reason to believe that the end would yield anything more than a dead, icy planet.

And so Graves and the handful of other scientific vessels that had cursorily explored the Doldrums had quickly abandoned what had seemed like a common, uninteresting mystery. The Doldrums would remain forever unexplored. Or so it had been thought until ship appeared at the edge of Graves' Belt and had hailed down the next passing star ship.

The Riverii, the race of aliens who lived at the previously hypothesized planet at the center of the Doldrums, were squat, emaciated beings. They were humanoid in shape but amphibious in nature. Off their home world, which they described as being almost entirely covered in an environment much like an earth marsh (if an earth marsh had had trees the size of skyscrapers and enormous predatory birds with claws sharper than diamonds) they wore stasis suits that kept their skins hydrated. They were sightless creatures of course, since no light got through the gas to illuminate their planet; though their other senses, particularly their hearing, which was a highly-evolved echo-location system, more than made up for that. They had pale skin and soft, malleable bones that could be compressed enormously without breaking. They ears were sensitive protrusions shaped like coral and slightly pink at the tips where they were most sensitive. In almost any amount of light past the human threshold for sight Riverii skin would burn like bacon in a pan. Consequently they wore over their amphibious suits thick dark cloaks that protected them from the lights.

Culturally the Riverii are all considered monks in their religion. They drank daily an extremely potent hallucinogenic tea that they felt brought them closer to something like a pagan conception of the human God that they believed lived in their cells and made them alive. They were also all soldiers for the united Riverii government and fierce warriors to the core. Even decades after the planet had formed a united government they kept the traditional warrior class that the Riverii revered as the high priests and bastions of their culture. These high priests practiced a form of marshal arts that incorporated a vast range of weapons and was almost impossible for off-worlders to learn.

Technologically the Riverii were on par with even the most highly advanced post-warp planets. Before they had found the Federation probe they had assumed that the gas went on forever and their interest in space had been low. But they had explored their own world thoroughly and developed equivalents for phasers, replicators, even transporters.

Normally interest would have been low in the Rivas and the Riverii. There would have been a nice photo opportunity with all the Riverii from the ship and the President of the Federation, a handful of news stories and some buzz in the scientific community. But new alien life forms weren't so rare it would have been diplomatically critical. They might have been offered membership in the federation if they'd wanted it but the issue would have taken years to resolve as diplomats worked at a comfortable, glacial pace.

But it hadn't taken Star Fleet long to realize, after having a look at the Riverii ship, what Rivas was: a fully developed, post-warp society inside the neutral zone and the ideal stepping-stone for anyone who wanted to stage an invasion into the surrounding Federation Space. Admiral Pike had closed his confidential report to the Federation Council by saying, "One way or another, Rivas will change the demarcation line of the neutral zone. It might come to change everything else."

**Chapter 1— Two New Beginnings**

Leonard McCoy knew how to take a punch but Jim Kirk had felt his fist connect with bone on the last upper cut. The doctor wheezed out, "fuck you Jim," as all the breath rushed out of him, then dropped to his knees to pant.

"You got to be more careful Bones. You can't let me sneak in like that." He said pedantically, as if he had meant it as a lesson for Bones and it hadn't just been a punch that had gotten away from him.

On the floor, Bones was still too out-of-breath for words, but managed to give his captain the one-fingered salute. Jim grinned and began to strip his gloves off. "Leave it there for the day Bones?"

The man on the floor shook his head. "You wish." He managed to mumble. "I'm not letting you walk away with that smirk on your face."

Jim shrugged and kept unlacing his gloves. "Well at least lets break for some water." He said.

Dr. McCoy nodded and let Jim help him to his feet. He went to the side of the ring and fished his med-scanner out of his bag and turned it on his ribs. "I really didn't mean to slip that punch in so hard Bones."

The doctor shrugged. "Ah, I was provoking you Jim. I shouldn't have said that thing about your sister."

Jim shrugged. "That's okay Bones, I don't have a sister." He chuckled slightly. "It worked strangely well as provocation though."

Bones sighed. "Well it's my medical opinion that anything would work as provocation right now for you Jim."

"What do you mean?"

The doctor rolled his eyes. "What do you mean 'what do I mean?' You're worried about our next mission and you've been stir crazy and intolerable since about a week since we got back to port."

Jim couldn't argue with that. And he was beginning to feel genuinely contrite for that punch, "Any broken bones Bones?"

Bones rolled his eyes. "As if you could get enough power in on a lucky little run-around to break a rib." He huffed. "You might be a better boxer than me, but you're hardly that good."

Jim rolled his head around his shoulders, letting the bones in his neck crack gruesomely. "Well what do you think of our next mission?"

"As the ship's doctor or as me?"

"As the ship's doctor."

"I think that this mission is going to provide some unique challenges. On earth the Doldrums used to drive sailors mad. The idea that you are trapped and not moving forward weighs heavily on the human psychology. We will need to prepare the crew psychologically, maybe shorten shifts and institute more regular psych evaluations. There's also the danger of being cut off from federation supplies. If a medical emergency arises we will need to be sure that we are prepared to deal with it on our own."

"And as you?"

"I think it's going to be a goddamn nightmare. Bunch of damn civilians and diplomats over crowding the ship? I'm going to be ready to rip someone's head off by the first week and I plan to take it out on you and the medical staff as much as I possibly can."

Bones sighed. "I suppose the Enterprise is the Federation Flagship and one of the only ships in the fleet large enough to carry the full diplomatic compliment the Federation is planning to send to Rivas."

Jim offered, "It might be fun. It's a little romantic if you think about it: hurtling blind through a dense fog towards a planet no one else has ever seen. One lone space ship stranded in the dark."

Bones rolled his eyes. "Hurtling? When did warp two become hurtling? Seems to me more like wallowing in a mud puddle because you haven't got enough sense to stand up."

Jim laughed, "You know Bones, I'm sure glad your sunny outlook hasn't been dampened by service."

"Nothing could ever dampen my sunny outlook Captain, not while you're around." Bones growled. Then he hesitated for a second. "What does Jim Kirk think about all this? I've read your official report but you don't seem quite so…what was it you said? Ah yes, you don't seem quite so 'moved that the Enterprise and her fine crew were chosen for this honor' as you claimed in the press release."

Jim shrugged. "This isn't what I'm good at, you know that. This mission is going to be a month of going to fancy parties and wearing dress uniforms and keeping my mouth shut: none of which are things I like or am particularly good at. Should be…a challenge."

The other man sighed, "I don't know if I want to keep boxing with you in that case. You might need to find yourself some holographic partners at whose ribs you can take pot-shots." He paused, considering. "By the way, what do you think of the Vulcan signing up to stay on at Starfleet?"

"I think he'll make a great first officer….you don't?"

Bones cocked his head to the side. "He shot you off the ship for mutiny, almost the whole Federation wiped out by waiting around to regroup with the fleet and then tried to strangle you in front of the entire bridge crew. Or had you forgotten about that?"

"He was also completely invaluable to the final mission." The Captain countered. "He performed above and beyond the call of duty. Given the emotional and psychological strain he was under at the time he performed a near miracle."

"I don't like him Jim. I don't trust him."

"Well you trust me Bones and I trust him completely."

"Who said I trust you? You just slipped in a fast one on me."

Jim scratched a hand through his sweaty hand. "It's strange that they've picked us for this mission isn't it? A green captain leading a fresh crew on their first mission where, hopefully, command won't shift twice during the middle of one of the biggest emergencies in Federation history: I wouldn't have pick us for a huge diplomatic mission right out of the gate if I were Star Fleet Headquarters. Not given our history, anyway."

Bones shrugged. "Don't be naive Jim, Star Fleet is a huge machine of an organization. The Enterprise was picked by either committee or regulation, not because anyone thought we were particularly suited for the task. Either that or someone smart figured out they want you as far away from trouble and combat as they can get you."

"I wonder."

"Well wonder in the ring. Let's finish this up before you get any cockier. Don't worry; I won't try any face shots. You've got to look pretty for Star Fleet today."

"I look prettiest with a split lip. Come on…swing for one."

"You get any cockier and I might."

Bones fought well in the next bout but lost in the end. As the other man had said before, Jim was just a better boxer and that showed in the end. Still, Bones seemed satisfied with the result. He'd gotten in two brutal jabs that had almost leveled the younger man and had wiped the smirk from his Captains face somewhat. That was the important part after all.

In the locker room they showered and put on their dress uniforms and left the gym aboard the Star Base Omega together. They passed into the section of the station that was something like a port, where the star ships were moored in space like great birds of prey floating on the inky blackness. It was Jim's favorite place on the station.

And there she was: Jim's lady. He never saw her without feeling his heart thump a little faster with pride. He wondered if they were still in the puppy-love phase because he was still unable to look at her with a critical eye. It was true that objectively the Enterprise was the biggest ship in the fleet and one of the newest… but it was more than that wasn't it? To Jim she seemed to glow in a way none of the other ships did. Her lines were smarter, sharper and fearless than any of the others. She looked to him like she stuck out her chin and didn't apologize to anyone.

After the last mission it had taken two months to repair her but now she was back to mint condition with a fresh coat of paint. She looked spoiling for a fight to him and he was sorry they'd both been consigned to this diplomatic mission. He was ready to take her back out into the fray.

But that wouldn't be today.

They didn't go down onto the docks but up a flight of stairs to an observation deck. They were two of the last to arrive and the room was already full of people. Most of the people in the room were politicians and admirals or higher in Star Fleet but the whole bridge crew of the Enterprise had been invited. Spock and Uhura were at a small table to the far left of the room and he pointed them out to Bones.

"I'm going to go see what's on the buffet table first." Bones said. "There's usually some pretty good grub when there are this many diplomats around."

Uhura greeted him with a smile and Spock with a cool nod.

Despite appearances it was Kirks relationship with Uhura that was most uncertain. Whatever Bones thought, whatever they had started out as, Kirk and Spock had become almost strangely close since the first mission. After what had happened, to them and between them, he supposed they never could have had a normal Captain and Second-in-Command style relationship. He liked Spock a lot and more than that he knew Spock was the best possible person to be on the bridge of the Enterprise. He was beginning to think of Spock as one of his closest friends.

Uhura on the other hand…well she'd warmed to Jim considerably in the past two months on the space station but there was still a chilliness in her demeanor towards him. For the first week she'd been so angry with him she wouldn't speak to him except when he spoke to her as the Captain and even then when he'd tried to order her to let him try to explain. But then Spock had talked to her about that moment when he'd provoked Spock into attacking him on the bridge and he must have smoothed things over a little bit. She hadn't said that Spock had talked to her but she didn't need to. She'd found Jim in the star ship's bar and said that she understood that he'd only done what he'd done to save the ship and earth. Then she'd pointed one long, elegant finger directly in his face and said, "If you ever do it again Jim I will find a way to punish you."

She'd been so serious he hadn't even dared crack that she was welcome to 'punish' him anytime she liked and she knew where he slept.

As if reading his mind she'd said, "oh yeah, and don't hit on me in front of Spock. Neither of us thinks it's cute anymore."

"Uhura I should apologize…" He'd begun.

She'd held up a hand. "I think you're going to be a great Captain Jim and Spock likes you. That's enough for me."

He didn't like apologizing anyway. "Okay." He'd said simply.

And she'd been true to her word to try to be his friend. She was nice to him like she never had been before and he didn't hit on her in return and they'd fallen into first a truce and now the beginnings of a friendship. But still…she was a very beautiful woman and she knew it. More importantly, they both still knew that he knew it. He was careful around her and maybe a little bit too careful. She seemed to know that he had to bite his tongue hard to keep it civil around her. But they were both doing their best and they were making progress. They'd just started to tease each other again (this time more good naturedly than before).

But for now she said simply, "Hi Jim."

"Hey Uhura. Hello Spock."

"Hello Captain."

"Who is here?" Kirk asked.

"The guest list is quite extensive. There are several Ambassadors and…" Spock began.

"No, I mean who is here from the Enterprise?" Kirk interrupted.

"I believe Mr. Sulu and Mr. Chekov arrived about half an hour ago though I have not seen them since. Mr. Scott I believe is over there talking with Doctor McCoy." Spock said.

"Ambassador Rogers is here too," Uhura offered, "The Ambassador we'll be taking to Rivas."

"You met him?"

She nodded.

"What was he like?" Kirk asked.

"He seemed okay." Uhura said. "He seemed like any other diplomat I guess: a firm handshake, a nice smile and no clues as to what's underneath that. He mentioned…"

"Who is that?" Kirk said suddenly, pointing to a gorgeous blond woman who was standing across the room. She had to be at least seven feet tall but she was wearing precariously high-heels and a fashionable dress that was bright red and covered in sequins. She didn't look like either a diplomat or Star Fleet general.

Uhura smirked and cocked an eyebrow. Since they'd made their relationship public Kirk had begun to wonder how he hadn't guessed she and Spock were dating. When she raised an eyebrow it now seemed crystal clear exactly who she'd learned the gesture from.

Spock said, "I believe Captain that her name is Xana Viwiko. She is earth's entrance into the Miss Galaxy competition this year and she's here to christen the Enterprise."

"Oh…I mean I should probably go introduce myself then right. I mean, if she's going to christen my ship we should at least meet." He said.

"Yeah Jim," Uhura was smiling so hard she looked like she might break her face, "why don't you go over there and tell her how much you want her to uh…christen you ship?"

He ignored Uhura, "yeah…it only seems polite." He started across the floor but stopped himself abruptly. He turned back. "What did you Ambassador Rogers mention?" He asked.

Uhura seemed taken aback. "What? Oh…he mentioned that he'd like to meet you."

That seemed like it could wait until after he talked to Xana Viwiko, Jim decided.

He started for her again but only made it halfway across the floor before he was intercepted by Admiral Pike. "Hello Captain."

"Hello Sir." He returned.

"Enjoying the party?"

"I just got here actually but it looks nice." He said honestly.

"It's a big day for you. Your first command is about to be christened the Federation flagship, making you the youngest Captain ever to have that distinction. How do you feel?"

Kirk considered for a moment. "Proud." He said.

"Any nerves for your next mission?"

He didn't want to complain to Pike but he didn't want to lie either. He said, "It should be very different from our last mission."

Pike smiled, seeming to know what he was trying to say. Then his brows came down slightly. "You ever met a woman who was as simple as she first seemed to be Jim?"

Kirk hesitated for a moment. "No… I guess not sir."

Pike nodded. "Missions are a lot like that."

Jim smiled. "I will keep that in mind sir."

"Also keep in mind that whatever mission your on is always the exact right mission for you and your crew."

What did he mean by that? Jim wondered. "Yes sir."

Pike smiled warmly. "Your father would be proud of you too."

"Thank you sir."

"Let's go christen your ship James."

The Admiral made his way onto a small stage that had been set up in front of the viewer that looked out over the Enterprise. He tapped the microphone twice. "If the bridge crew of the Enterprise would please make it's way to the front." He said quietly.

Jim and the others filed forward and mounted the stage with Pike. It felt strange, being the focus of attention of all his superiors and these diplomats. But it felt solemn too. He was glad to be here for this moment and he was full of pride for his ship and his crew.

He liked Pike's speech too. The admiral talked about the youth of the crew and how they were a good representation of Star Fleet and the Federation. He talked a little bit about the first mission, glossing over the uncomfortable details that had been left out of most of the official reports and how he had lost use of his legs, and making the whole ordeal seem like it had been, if not totally under control, at least sane.

"It seems to me that a ship who has seen so much even before her christening is destined for great things. I know her Captain and her crew are some of the best and brightest in this galaxy. So it without further ado, I invite Miss Viwiko to christen the USS Enterprise the newest Federation Flagship."

Miss Viwiko stepped up and pressed a button, which flung a bottle of champagne into the hull of the Enterprise. It flew out into the vacuum of space, tumbling end over end, and smashed on the bow. The Enterprise was officially thetwenty-seventh flagship of the Federation.

* * *

Maddie Sparrow had to push her legs hard against the thick black fabric of her pencil skirt to keep up with her guide as he navigated the halls of the Star Base Omega in synchronous orbit above San Francisco. With each step the laminate around her neck, which read VISITOR in bright, bold, red letters, banged against her chest.

The woman at the reception desk in San Francisco had said briskly, "visitors are permitted to remove their badges under no circumstances Miss Sparrow. Please keep it visible at all times as you move around the space station."

Maddie hadn't realized how out of place it would make her in the halls of the building. She was one of the only a handful of civilians on a base of thousands she began to realize and people took notice of that. The sea of people in uniforms parted around her and shot her curious and not-entirely flattering looks. They looked at her as if she were a child or some strange, pitiable creature and she found it more and more difficult to meet their eyes. She told herself she was being ridiculous but she found herself looking at her shoes and keeping closer to her guide than she normally would to a stranger.

She was thinking about this and the butterflies in her stomach when they moved from the administrative part of the building to the hangar bay without warning. They stepped through a small door and the world seemed to open up and drop away into the infinity of space. Her head turned to face the expansive room they were in and her jaw almost dropped open. She stopped walking abruptly to marvel at the sight of the Enterprise, like a great silver bird resting careful at one of the docks visible in the huge view panel and was almost knocked to the ground by the person just behind her.

Her guide came back, smiling a little smugly. "I forgot how she looks to you civies the first time."

Like an idiot she murmured, "Are all Star Ships like this?"

Her guide, a young Ensign who couldn't have been older than twenty, smiled wisely. "No, she's special. She's the flagship of the Federation, the biggest and the fastest in the fleet. It is an honor to serve aboard her."

She tore her eyes away from the ship and said, "Sorry, it's just, I've never seen a ship in real life."

He grinned. "That's a good thing Miss Sparrow. Loving the idea of a ship helps you put up with actually living on one."

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid I was still a little rattled from the shuttle voyage when we met and my manners must have suffered. I didn't get your name, Ensign…" She stuck out her hand for him to shake.

"Ensign Carrow Miss." He said, giving her hand a firm shake. "Michael Carrow. I'm one of the ensigns assigned to your kitchen during the trip."

She smiled. "Very pleased to meet you Ensign Carrow." She bit her lips and then forced herself to ask, "We must be in a forceful field right now? I mean, I can't see anything between us and space."

Carrow nodded. "Yes Miss Sparrow. When the Enterprise last docked here they extended the field in the bay here around the enterprise so the hull could be checked over before we put out to sea again."

She shuddered involuntarily, imagining what would happen to them if the power went off in the base. She wasn't sure if the science was exactly right in her imagination, but she was sure it would be on the same level of gruesome. "How big is the Enterprise?" She asked.

He seemed to know what she was looking to hear, "It's fourteen decks. The total area is about the size of three or four big city blocks but it's built like a maze and takes a while before you stop getting lost. The normal crew is about four hundred but with the full diplomatic compliment we're talking on we'll be about five hundred in total and that's going to feel like a lot of people. Some of the lower decks have had to be refitted as housing to accommodate the overflow."

At the door to the Enterprise another crewmember was waiting for them. "Ensign Michael Carrow returning from duty aboard the star base Sir. And this is Miss Madeline Sparrow, requesting permission to come aboard."

"Is that animal cleared to come aboard?" The crewmember pointed to the carrying case that Maddie was holding. Most of Maddie's things had been moved onto the ship by Star Fleet personnel in the last week and April, her cat, was the only thing she was bringing herself.

"Yeah…I've got the paperwork here somewhere." Maddie set down the case and searched through her purse with both hands. She'd been given a lot of paper this morning at reception and it took her almost a minute to find it in the enormous folder.

The crewmember looked slightly annoyed but he said, "Welcome aboard the Enterprise Miss Sparrow" when she'd finally found it.

Carrow took her to her quarters and Maddie felt he hadn't been exaggerating about the complexity of the Enterprise. She was sure she wouldn't be able to find her way back out if she needed to. "Is there anything else you need Miss Sparrow?" Carrow asked.

She felt like she didn't even have enough information to ask the right questions. "No I guess not."

There was a sound like a bell being struck and Maddie jumped. "What was that?"

Carrow smiled condescendingly, "Someone just rang your doorbell Miss Sparrow."

"Oh… okay then… how do I open my door?"

"Computer, open door." Carrow said.

Tom Shelley stood in the frame of the door, smirking into her room. "Oh good." He said as he glanced around her quarters. "Your room is just as pathetic as mine. I would have been pissed if you got special treatment. Not that it looks like even special treatment would be acceptable on this dump."

Carrow straightened up. "The Enterprise is a galaxy class starship Mr. Shelley and the best ship in the fleet." He said forcefully. "While you are aboard you will be thanked to show her the respect she deserves."

"My quarters look lovely." Maddie said quickly. At Tom she shot a quick glare that she hoped said, 'shut up Shelley.'

Carrow still looked like he had something he wanted to say to Shelley but seemed to think better of it. He said shortly, "If that is all I will leave you to get settled Miss Sparrow" and left.

"Yeah…see you later." Tom said sarcastically after the door had closed behind him.

Maddie looked at him reprovingly, and a little pleadingly. "Seriously Tom?"

"What? This place is a fucking stalag. If these people like it here they're mentally unbalanced and that's not my fault." He said defensively. He came in and threw himself over the bare bed in the center of the room. He rolled onto one hip with one hand cocked under his head so he was looking at her.

She sighed, "Your mother raised you to show more respect than that when you're a guest in someone's house."

Tom glanced around sourly. "I don't think she ever imagined I would end up some place like this."

"Well there are limited resources aboard a star ship." She said. "And they're taking on a lot of extra people for this mission. Ensign Carrow said that some of the rooms had been refitted to be living quarters."

It was true that her room was less comfortable than she was used to but Tom was exaggerating. There was only really one room with two little nooks—one for her bed and the other for a little kitchen area. To her it seemed charmingly well designed to conserve space. It certainly wasn't worth getting melodramatic over.

"Oh great. We're in refitted rooms. We should complain."

"We're not going to complain Tom. If you don't like it, just keep reminding yourself that it's only for two months okay?"

"Why did you even sign up for this?" Tom asked.

Maddie frowned. "A better question would be why did you?" She said. "Since you're the one with a problem with the ship."

Tom shrugged. "I came because you came." He said flatly.

Maddie looked at him sharply. "We aren't getting back together Tom."

Tom shrugged. "I never said we were." He said coolly. "Michael asked me to go." He paused, then smirked at her. "Though if you get a little cabin fever…I'm the second door on your left and I know how to scratch you itch."

"Tell my brother that I don't need you too look after me. Besides, this is a diplomatic mission, what could possibly happen?" She said.

"Well it's a little late for me to back out but I'll be sure to mention that it was a total waste of two months of my life next time I'm over at your house." Tom said coolly. "And what do you mean what could happen? Have you gotten a load of those Riverii bastards? Bunch of fucking savages like that are probably capable of anything."

She rolled her eyes. "That's racist."

"That doesn't make it untrue."

"It does make it wrong."

Tom smiled benevolently. "You're too cute for words little Mad-Maddie Sparrow. Why did we ever break up?"

"Don't call me Mad-Maddie."

Tom sat up and scooted to the head of her bed. He patted the space he'd cleared on the body of the bed to indicate she should join him. "Come on up here Mad-Madeline. I know what you like."

She hesitated for a moment and said, "get your shoes off my bed!" but grinned and climbed in anyway. She lay down, facing away from him and with her hair spread out behind her. Tom kicked off his shoes and then turned his attention to her. He picked out a section of her hair and slowly, gently braided it and then unbraided it. When he was done braiding it he would flip it over her face and move to the next section beneath it.

Tom had grown up two houses down from Maddie and their parents were friends and business partners. He'd been two years older and really, he'd been her brother Michael's friend but he'd always had a soft spot for Maddie. Even before it was cool to like girls Tom had always been sweet to her. In high school they'd learned to cook together (despite the fact that Michael and all Tom's other friends had given him a lot of shit about it) and then they'd gone off to the culinary institute the same year (Maddie having worked very hard to skip two grades of high school). The hair braiding they'd invented during those rough three years in the culinary institute, which is also where they'd started sleeping together. After a rough, day when the head chefs had yelled a lot, Maddie would crawl into Tom's bed and let him braid and unbraid her hair until they both felt better.

"You never answered my question." Tom murmured softly.

"What question?" She asked.

"Why did you sign up for this mission?" He asked.

"It's a good opportunity for me." She said.

Maddie was only two years out of culinary school and she was already a rising star on earth in the culinary field. She was twenty-one years old and already the head chef three nights a week at Plato, the most popular five-star restaurant in San Francisco, but she was still establishing herself. If she wanted to open her own restaurant, as most Chefs do, she wasn't there yet. This was a good opportunity because normally she wouldn't be a big enough name to be picked to cook for big diplomatic dinners. But a more established chef wouldn't have been willing to be shot into space for two months to do it, so Maddie had gotten the job.

"Is that really it?" Tom asked. "If you want to establish yourself there are a million ways to do it that don't involve being shut up in this hell hole for two months."

"This was too good to pass up."

Tom glanced around her quarters skeptically. "If you say so."

She was quiet for a moment. She'd almost forgotten how well Tom braided and how he gently pulled on the hair just enough so she could feel it but never so much it hurt. Sometimes he would caress her hair for a few seconds in between braids to smooth it down and that felt good too. She didn't have much left in the way of sexual feelings for Tom but she would always have tender ones.

"You think I made a mistake?" She asked finally.

He nodded. "Yeah, probably."

That made her nervous. Not because she thought Tom was right about the mission. Coming aboard had been the best decision for her career, she was sure of that, but she was nervous about Tom being aboard as well.

Tom was once of the nicest people in the world— sweet and generous beyond belief—but only if he already liked you. He was also a hideous snob and if you weren't in his good graces, as about ninety percent of the world wasn't, he could be quite a bastard. For him it was a class thing. He'd grown up rich, popular and handsome didn't have a lot of patience with people who hadn't. He'd clearly decided that the Enterprise and her whole crew were beneath him and Maddie had never known him to keep something like that to himself. She had the sneaking suspicion that, whatever he claimed about coming along to help her out, he was going to cause her a lot more problems than he was going to solve.

She swallowed. "Well it's too late now."

"You'll be just fine." He said, smoothing her hair.

"Thanks for braiding my hair."

"You know I like to."

Maddie brought her knees to her chest and pressed her back against Tom's leg. With her ear against the bed she could hear something powerful humming low and steady in the bowels of the ship. Over the next two weeks that sound would keep Maddie up late into the night almost every night until she learned to tune it out.

**Author's Note: Please review. It means a crazy amount to authors when you do. Even if you don't like it, I prefer your feedback to your silence. I'm also looking for a beta reader if there's anyone interested. This is the first thing I've ever written and it is important to me that the cannon characters stay true to their own natures, that the new characters stay likable and believable and that the story flows together well.****  
**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2— Fights**

Jim laced his fingers together over his desk and took three deep breaths before speaking. Across the desk only Madeline Sparrow was meeting his eyes, and she was visibly shaking with fear. On either side of her the two men were holding ice packs and cotton gauze to their faces and staring into their laps. He could hear Spock, standing behind him and slightly to his left, shift his weight casually from one foot onto the other and then became still again.

"What you're telling me Miss Sparrow is that Mr. Shelley and Ensign Carrow slipped in spilled milk at the same time and Shelley blackened his eye and Carrow split his lip on a nearby table. Is that about right Miss Sparrow?" The way he articulated each syllable made it clear he was furious.

She swallowed deep in her throat and some water dripped down off the ice Ensign White had pressed to his face. "Yes Captain, that is what…." She began.

He slammed his fist down on his desk making everyone in the room except him and Spock start visibly. "If you cannot keep control in your kitchens, I need to know about it. I am the Captain of this ship and I want the truth damn it!" He shouted.

She swallowed again. "There was no fight sir." She said firmly. Her lip trembled slightly and for a moment Jim thought she was going to cry but she firmed right up and set her face in a rigid poker face. "And I am capable of maintaining control in my kitchen sir."

Jim felt rage swell in his chest and a whirring rose in ears like the sound a kettle makes just before it boils. It had been quite a while since he'd been this mad and he wasn't enjoying the experience. How dare this girl, this… civilian, deny him information about his crew?

It was the ambassadors who had insisted on bringing all these extra civilians on his ship. They'd said that preparing traditional earth cuisine for the Riverii President would be diplomatically crucial and someone at Star Fleet Command had acquiesced. He'd been practically ordered to take her on board and the next time he sore he would have to be ordered before he consented to civilians being in charge of any member of his crew.

She was putting his men in jeopardy by failing to properly command them and he would not allow her to go unpunished. He gritted his teeth. "Ensign Carrow, Mr. Shelley, you are both dismissed." He said. "Return to your regular duties in the kitchens."

The girl looked like she'd like to leave with them but all she did was grip her hands harder together in her lap.

After the door had closed behind the two men, he continued, "Miss Sparrow I am afraid you are mistaking me for a civilian judge. I do not need proof that there was a fight to punish you for one."

"I understand sir."

He took a moment to study the woman sitting across the desk from him. He didn't like what he found.

She was a very beautiful woman. She had soft, pale skin and delicate features. Her body was lean and she moved it with a dancer's grace. Her hair was reddish-brown, though with flecks of almost blond shot through it. It was up in a bun just now he could tell that down it would fall in loose curls to about half a foot below her shoulders. She'd grown up rich too. Her clothes were expensive and she wore them with the kind of ease new money can't buy. She looked entitled to him. He could imagine her complaining about him "being unfair" later, even if she had enough sense not to do it in front of him.

And she had no idea what she was doing on this ship: that was written all over what she thought was a poker face. This was probably the scariest thing that had ever happened to her and she was just coping by the skin of her teeth. She was just a spoiled brat who had wandered too far away from daddy and his money and now her incompetence was costing his men black eyes.

"I hope you are not expecting special treatment because you are a civilian. You were invited aboard by the ambassadors but it is my ship and I can punish you as I see fit."

"There wasn't a fight. sir." She got the sir in at just the last possible second.

He frowned. "Ensign Carrow and Mr. Shelley will report to do thirty hours of additional duty cleaning as punishment. You will do fifty similar hours and ten hours of intensive command training with Commander Spock before you are allowed back into the kitchens. Additionally, after your training a Lieutenant will be assigned to monitor my men in the kitchens at all times to ensure the safety of my men. You are dismissed Miss Sparrow."

She stood and left without another word. She should have thanked him for dismissing her and he gritted his teeth not to call her back and correct her. He didn't need a crying woman his office, he really didn't and he was pretty sure her lips had been trembling when she left.

"What's next Spock?" He said when the door had closed behind her.

"Scotty would like to talk with you about routine maintenance shutting down the food generators for two hours tomorrow afternoon." The Vulcan answered promptly, sliding the PADD into place in front of the Captain and pulling up the relevant report. There was a moment where the Vulcan paused, as if to consider carefully his next words. Then he said, "Had you ever met Miss Sparrow before today Captain?"

Jim was looking at the report and a little distracted. "What? No… why do you ask Spock?"

"As you know, the subtleties of human interaction are a subject of study for me and I must say, I found that a fascinating display." He said evasively.

Kirk sometimes suspected Spock of understanding human interaction better than he claimed. How else could the Vulcan consistently pick the interactions Kirk least wanted to discuss to ask about? He took three more deep breaths and said, "yes, Spock, what are you curious about?"

"I'm curious as to your motivations for punishing Miss Sparrow."

"As I said, the ship has to run and people in charge, and she is in charge in the kitchen, have to keep the people under them under control. I can't have anarchy on my ship Spock, even in the kitchen."

"Fights happen aboard a ship sir." Spock said, cocking one high brow as if to silently add 'as you well know.' "And I have never seen you punish any Star Fleet officer so severely. As I understand, officially fighting is an offense punishable by five days in the brig and court marshal. That could end an Ensign's career, or severely limit it. Consequently, I believe there is something of a gentleman's agreement that the officers punish but never report it when they find Ensigns fighting."

What Spock had said was true of course. He (and Spock too) had only escaped court marshal by the same unspoken contract for their actions on the Enterprise's first mission. In general it was Bone's job to report injuries he thought were from a fight; it was Jim's job to turn and blind-eye and pretend to believe whatever story the Ensigns cooked up; and it was their Lieutenant's job to make sure they thought twice the next time they were temped to use their fists to settle something.

The feeling in his stomach let Jim know that he was beginning to change his mind about yelling at the girl. Spock was right: he would never have been so rough on one of his own officers. "You think I was unfair to her." He said.

"No sir, the punishment you gave was by the book." Spock answered honestly.

Kirk took up the PADD on his desk and looked at the maintenance Scotty was proposing but his eyes scanned the screen without reading anything. He said aloud, "Spock, why do you think she even lied to me?"

"Pardon Captain?"

"She lied about the fight. But she doesn't seem like the type does she? Girl like that…I'd have figured she would have ratted Carrow out the second I asked her to." He said slowly.

Spock nodded. "I asked myself the same question. I suppose it would be logical to assume that someone told Miss Sparrow about the same 'gentleman's agreement' to which I made previous reference. A civilian chef would likely consider a fight too grave an offense to conceal otherwise."

"She was just trying to protect Carrow then?"

"I assume so."

Jim leaned back and smiled. If he was going to eat his words, and he had the creeping feeling he was going to, he was at least going to enjoy the fact that Spock was having to hint at the fact he disagreed with regulation. "You do think I was unfair to her." He accused. "Admit it Spock, you don't like what I did."

The Vulcan's face was impassive. "As I said before Captain, your punishment was by the book and therefore above reproach."

"If it was by the book then why ask about why I did it?"

"As I said before Captain, I felt it was an interesting break with your past behavior."

"If you want to call me a hypocrite Spock, call me a hypocrite. If you're trying to get out of giving her ten hours of lessons you can just ask and I'll have someone else do it."

Spock frowned. "Not at all Captain. I think Miss Sparrow could benefit enormously from my instruction."

Jim grinned. "Couldn't we all Spock?" But he didn't wait for the Vulcan's reply. "You know what? You've convinced me. Here, I'll call her back in and tell her you've shown me the error of my ways and you can observe that too. Should be a 'fascinating display' right?"

The Vulcan straightened his uniform priggishly and said nothing.

Jim grinned and tapped his comm. "Kirk to Madeline Sparrow."

There was a moment's pause and then her voice replied. "Yes?"

"Miss Sparrow will you please step back into my office?"

"I'm on my way."

"I did not mean for you to feel as if I disapproved of your actions Captain." Spock said. "Given our history of…mutinous behavior on this ship, I would like to make that clear."

Jim smiled. "Given our history of mutinous behavior on this ship, that goes without saying Spock."

What Spock said next Jim would never know however because it was at that moment that the nature of the voyage and life aboard the Enterprise changed radically.

* * *

Maddie Sparrow had started crying the second the doors of the turbolift had closed behind her and she was alone. Her mouth twisted into an inhuman shape and tears welled up in her eyes unbidden. She didn't know how to hold the turbolift and she was terrified that someone else would get on but she was in luck and she arrived on her deck and was able to duck out into the hall safely. If she walked quickly and didn't make eye contact she knew she could probably get to her room without anyone noticing the hot, salty hateful liquid welling in her eyes. She tried to wipe them away with the backs of her hands but had little luck.

She'd just put her hand on her door when her com badge, which she'd taken to wearing on a slender silver chain around her neck so as not to put holes in her clothes, twittered softly, "Kirk to Madeline Sparrow."

She almost screamed in frusteration. She almost threw the com badge away from herself and just pretended not to have it. Instead she fished it out the neck of her blouse and pressed the transmit button. "Yes?" She stuttered.

"Miss Sparrow will you please step back into my office?"

"I'm on my way Captain."

There was no getting around the fact that he would know she'd been crying. Her eyes were already red but she forced back the current tears and turned back toward the office. The best thing she figured she could do was just pretend like her eyes weren't red and swollen: Kirk would likely follow suit.

She stepped back onto the turbolift and pressed the button for the bridge. She kept her face down to keep the bridge crew from seeing that she'd been crying and made her way swiftly back to the Captain's ready room.

She'd gotten halfway across the length of the bridge when the patch of floor she was staring at seemed to jump unexpectedly at her with the accompanying noise of a muffled explosion. She went to the floor, bouncing hard and rolling into the wall where she slammed her head with an audible crack.

Kirk and Spock came running out of the ready room and were sliding into their seats before she'd even really begun to comprehend what had happened, much less thought about getting back up. "." Kirk barked.

It would be minutes later that Maddie realized that the keening alarm was the red alert alarm and not simply in her throbbing head.

"Unknown Captain." Someone Maddie didn't know reported briskly. "We've been hit sir but by what I don't know. The gas is playing havoc with the sensors Sir."

"Arm phasers and photon torpedoes. Damage report."

"It was a direct hit sir. We have hull breach on decks fourteen, thirteen and eleven. All but eleven are sealed and engineering is on its way."

"Boost power to all sensors Mister Chekov."

"Captain, damage pattern indicates the blast is from another ship. Possibly a Klingon Bird-of-War."

The voices were getting confused in Maddie's head and then suddenly there was a face in her view. A woman was leaning over her and her mouth was moving. "What?" Maddie whispered hoarsely.

"We stand on the bridge, always." The woman repeated and Maddie's vision expanded so she could see the woman was extending her a hand to help her up. "On your feet Miss."

She nodded and let the woman pull her to her feet. "Thank you." She said.

The woman pointed to an empty seat. "Strap in."

She sat and clicked the safety straps into place. She felt strangely good. Her head hurt and her body felt disconnected and weak but she felt in control. The pain made her aware of every part of her body and she knew that, if she needed to, she would be ready to move. She wasn't scared: she wasn't even sure what she was. It was a feeling she'd never come close to experiencing before but perhaps it was closest to that jittery but good feeling of drinking too much (if coffee packed the punch of several lines of uncut cocaine and an actual punch to the temple).

For better or worse, everything seemed to be in fast-forward after that.

Back in the center of the bridge, they had called someone on the com, "Scotty shut off whatever you need to shut off but I need shields and sensors."

"Aye Captain but…"

"Do it Scotty."

"Ship off the port bow Sir. They're arming weapons."

"Evasive pattern B-7. Fire phasers."

The ship rocked again and Maddie was thrown against her straps as the rest of the crew held tight to their seats.

"We took another hit Sir and they've re-cloaked. Our phasers landed but they cloaked before we could assess damage."

"Captain I have something suggest."

"I'm open to options Mr. Spock."

"Light the gas."

"Excuse me?"

"The next time they de-cloak, jump to warp five for a short period."

"Won't that blow up the ship?"

"If we shift all power to shields my calculations indicate that the ship will survive. When they de-cloak I can do a quick calculation for the length of the jump to reduce damage to the ship while ensuring the enemy is ship is in range of the blast. Captain, the Klingon ship is suited for this kind of combat and its advantage is amplified by the fog but it cannot take as much damage as we can, even if we've been hit twice already."

"You want me to create an enormous fireball around my ship?"

"It is the most logical option, given our present circumstances."

"I like it better than a blind firefight with a Bird-of-War in this fog. Mr. Sulu, prepare the ship for a warp five jump on Mr. Spock's command. Scotty, boost all power to shields but keep the sensors running too, we need to see them when they de-cloak. Uhura, I want a ship-wide alert for the shock we're likely to experience. Mr. Spock, make your calculations."

Spock came close to Maddie to use the PADD screen across from her seat and in that pause that seemed to last forever but couldn't have been more than a minute the Captain came too. She was probably the only person on the bridge who heard what the Captain said to Spock next. "Spock, what's the damage to the ship going to be?"

"Worse-case scenario would be extensive damage or loss of the three breached decks with casualties around a hundred. There is a less than three point two percent probability of that occurring however. A more likely scenario is that they will be re-breached but repaired fairly quickly and with little loss of life."

"Fuck."

Maddie would always remember the look on Kirk's face during that exchange. She was the only one on the bridge with the right angle to see it and it felt like it knocked the wind from her chest. He looked ferocious and heart-broken all at once but also like his mind was completely made up. She'd never understood what it meant to be the Captain of a ship before that moment and she shuddered involuntarily from the fear of it. She wouldn't have been in his shoes for a mountain of credits.

"Ship is de-cloaking."

"Make the jump Mr. Sulu."

Behind her she saw the gas fade into a streak and then…she pitched forward into her straps hard enough that she had a blotchy bruise radiating from the line where her belt was for the next week. On the view screen she could see the gas exploding in a violet-purple flame around them and the ship bucked and pitched violently in the storm. She bit her lips not to scream out as sparks flew from the consol behind her, showering her. Something across the room lit on fire and the automated sensor sprayed it with chemicals that doused it out.

The crew was speaking before the fire was even out.

"Enemy ship is visible and badly damaged sir. Weapons and cloaking systems are offline. Shields are down."

"Engage a tractor beam before someone over there gets the bright idea to do a warp jump of their own Chekov. Lock phasers and fire if they try it."

"Tractor beam engaged sir. Sir the Klingon ship has engaged the self-destruct sequence."

"Open a channel to the Klingon ship Uhura."

"No response Captain."

"Try again. Spock can we beam the crew aboard the Enterprise?"

"No Captain, their shields are down but they are jamming our transporter."

"I need that channel Uhura."

"It's open sir but with no response on the Klingon end."

"This is Captain James Kirk of the Federation ship USS Enterprise. You have committed an act of war in the neutral zone but I am willing to negotiate a cease-fire. You may come aboard my ship if you choose and no further harm will…"

"Klingon ship has self-destructed sir."

"Damage report."

"Decks thirteen and eleven breached again but force fields have been established until repairs can be made. The computer reports fifteen dead and thirty-seven seriously injured. Scotty reports that we've overloaded some of the power-generating couplers and we'll be running at fifty-three percent capacity until they can be repaired. He's sent crews to emergency-patch the hull. He wants to know what systems he can shut off."

"He can have everything he wants except sensors and life support if he can patch up my ship quickly." Kirk said. "Tell him I want a time estimate within the hour." He took a deep breath. "Is everyone on the bridge okay?"

The all looked around as if for the first time and took a moment to shift into the new paradigm. "I think the bridge has sustained only minor injuries sir." Spock said.

"Good. Stand down the red alert" Kirk said. Then he took another deep breath and opened his com to a ship-wide broadcast.

Maddie noticed that when he spoke next, the quality of his voice had changed. During combat his tone hadn't been exactly emotionless but it had been the opposite of panicked. He'd kept his phrases short and there had been an impersonal, steel note in his voice that brooked no argument. He'd seemed inhuman, infallible in the crisis.

But now he let a little warmth slip into his voice. Instead of a God, he became a father. "This is the Captain speaking. At approximately fifteen hundred and thirty hours we were engaged in combat by a Klingon Bird-of-War and I am pleased to report that due to the commendable performances of the entire crew, we have defeated the enemy ship, which has since self-destructed. But the Enterprise has been damaged.

"Gentlemen, we are sitting ducks out here and as much as I'd like to, I don't know where that ship came from. But if there's another Klingon ship out here, we need to be ready for it and I need your help to get that done as quickly as possible. That was a rough fight and we all lost fifteen friends, who we will mourn properly and with all the honors they deserve at an appropriate time. But right now we are going to need to tighten our belts until the ship is fully back online and that starts with you. I'm open to suggestions. I'm counting on you. Go put our ship back together."

He closed the com.

"Captain I request permission for all non-essential bridge personnel to be given emergency repair duty."

"Granted."

Maddie unbuckled her belt and joined the others who were moving toward the turbolift. She didn't need to be told she was "non-essential." In the turbolift Spock said, "Miss Sparrow you would be advised to return to your quarters until normal ship function has been restored."

"I'd like to help." She said, without really thinking.

Her mother had taught her that it was good manners to offer to help out when there was a mess. This seemed like a mess if ever there had been one.

"That is admirable however it is my experience that untrained individuals are usually most helpful in emergency situations if they stay out of the way."

"Okay." She agreed numbly.

It wasn't true, what's she'd said. She wanted to help sure, but what she most wanted to do was go back to the kitchen. Cooking calmed her down and she needed to calm down. Or burst into tears. Maybe she'd cry in the bathtub: that usually helped too. But she knew that the kitchen would be deserted. She'd been briefed on the emergency procedure for the kitchen staff and they would have all been ordered back to their rooms to, as Spock had said, 'stay out of the way.' Also, she was pretty sure that the elaborate dinner they had been preparing for the diplomatic staff had been canceled.

In the end she went back to the kitchen anyway. If she couldn't cook, she could at least help herself to some champagne while she cleaned up the wreckage. Besides, she told herself, there are plenty of suitably pathetic spaces I can wedge myself into if I need to cry.

The kitchen was actually in better shape than she'd expected. There had been some hanging pots and pans that had been knocked to the ground. She picked these up and popped them into the sterilizer. She checked the cabinets and found that most of the crockery had shattered. The fancy china she'd been using to serve the ambassadors was gone except for four plates and a huge serving dish. She sorted out the intact china and then quickly swept the shattered pieces into the disposal. She put the surviving china into the box it had come in, which had padded slots for each piece. If there was another attack the china would probably explode into a fireball with the rest of the ship but it felt important to protect what was left for some reason.

The ovens and refrigerators looked like they were still in working order. They weren't qualified as vital though so there was no power to them. Everything inside the refrigerators was slowly warming up and dripping ice out. She put down a couple of towels on the floor in front of them and began to sort through them. A seventeen-layer cake she'd spent the whole yesterday working on had toppled over in one of the fridges. She ran her finger through the icing and popped it in her mouth. It was creamy and perfect and melted in her mouth just the way she wanted it to be. The cake beneath was moist and light and she would be the only person to ever know that.

From underneath the splattered cake she fished a bottle of champagne, wiped the icing from around the top and went to hunt for a knife to open it, and a tin of caviar. She didn't want champagne and caviar: she wanted to make some chicken noodle soup.

The bottle almost slipped from her fingers as inspiration struck unexpectedly.

Without another thought she was out of the kitchen, sprinting down the hall. She got into the turbo lift but her hand temporized over the button. She was as scared of the Captain as she'd been of the head chefs her first year in culinary school (more scared probably because the chefs hadn't been tall and handsome, with steel-blue eyes and jaws square like cartoon superhero's). She didn't want to go back to his office and remind him to yell at her more. But she was right and she knew it. Her hand twitched and slammed down on the button to go to the bridge.

"Are you lost Miss?" An Ensign with a thick Russian accent asked when she got off the turbolift.

"The Captain requested that I come to his ready room." She said quickly. It wasn't even technically a lie. He had asked her to come before the attack so didn't she still have some right to go? Not going would be disobeying orders right?

Kirk's eyes narrowed when she stepped into his room. "Given the present circumstances Miss Sparrow I think we can talk at a later time." He sounded angry.

It was at that exact moment that she realized why he, why all the crew really, said her name so much. She didn't have a title. She wasn't a lieutenant or a staff sergeant or even an Ensign and they were trying to remind her of that. The 'Miss' was a way of putting her in her place.

She was more scared than she'd been when Kirk was yelling at her. Her guts felt like ice water sloshing around in her numb body and there was a dull ache in the back of her throat that told her tears were not far. "N-no, it's not that." She said, swallowing hard to get the words out. "I…I just…that is…I just thought maybe you should shut off the individual replicators."

He looked at her as if she were a chair who had suddenly made the same suggestion. She offered, "You said you were open to suggestions in your ship-wide broadcast. I thought it would be okay to ask since you didn't say they had to be from the crew…specifically. I just thought it would be okay for…"

The Captain looked confused, and not in the least bit amused. "Hold on, why would I turn off the replicators in the middle of a crisis?"

"If you shut off the individual food replicators and have everyone come to the kitchen for food it will cost the ship less energy. Component parts like wheat and carrots and butter cost less energy for the ship to make because they're less complicated than bred and carrot soup and lasagna. On Earth we cook a lot of component parts in restaurants because it's less expensive energetically…" She offered, voice shaking a little bit.

Here she showed a little spirit. This was something she knew a lot about and it was the kind of question she was used to answering. Even his incredulous tone of voice didn't scare her. She was younger than most chefs and she was used to people doubting her abilities. They were back on familiar ground and she knew how to stand up for herself here.

"By how much?" He asked.

"The food replicators cost the ship how much? Eight percent of the power? I could get that down to three percent at least." She said.

"You think you can cook for five hundred?"

"I know I can." She said promptly. Then added, "I mean I know I can sir. I'm set up to cook for a hundred. It's not as hard as you might think to scale up if you're willing to take a hit on the quality. I've already been down to the kitchens. They're not in bad shape."

"How many people do you need?"

She spoke more quickly now. She didn't seem on the verge of tears anymore. "There are ten civilian cooks on board right now so they won't cost you anyone vital. We can handle the cooking ourselves but I don't think we can do that and run service at the same time. We were assigned five Ensigns to run service for us the dinners for the diplomats and we could make do with that again."

She did a quick calculation. "At least five…sir."

"Pick five Ensigns you like if they're not on critical duty somewhere else on the ship. The power cost to the ship for food is twelve percent on normal operation. Get it down to four."

She gapped at him. "Is that a yes?"

"Yes it is.

Her head felt light. Before she'd been scared he would no. Now she was excited he'd said yes, and simultaneously terrified that he had. Her head flashed forward to how she would do it. She'd need teams; she'd need to decide on a menu; she'd need to…

"Why are you holding a bottle of champagne?"

She jerked back to where she was. She held it up, as though surprised to find it was still in her hand. "Before I thought of this my plan was to drink this whole bottle and clean up the kitchen sir." She said honestly. "Mr. Spock said I would be most helpful if I got out of the way."

"Spock is hardly every wrong but I think this might be one of those times." He said.

Where she'd cracked her head earlier on the bridge there was a purple and brown goose egg forming around a gash about the length of a pinkie finger. The bleeding had stopped but the swelling was still in progress. "You need to get that looked at before you start but sickbay will be too busy to see you." He said. "Come here and let me take a look at that."

There was an emergency medical kit on the wall and he went to get the scanner and bandages. "Sit." He said, pointing to his desk.

With her on the desk their faces were about even. She could feel his breath when he leaned towards her to wave the medical scanner over her head. "Well you don't have a concussion but we should clean this up before it infects." He announced.

"Okay." She agreed.

She didn't want him doing this for her. She didn't want to seem weaker to him than she already did. And she really didn't want to say what she had to say next.

She hesitated for a moment. "It's just…I mean…I just…" She was back on the verge of tears, he noted with a momentary twinge annoyance and she was bobbing her head down, which made her forehead harder to clean.

"Get to the point Miss Sparrow." He said sharply. His voice was harsh but as he began to wipe the blood off her forehead, he was surprisingly tender. She wouldn't have expected that from him.

"It's just that I have done my ten hours with Mr. Spock and I really need Tom…Mr. Shelly that is…in the kitchen and not doing his punishment. I'm not trying to get out of it, I swear I'm not, and I can still have a lieutenant in the kitchen…"

He had to put his hand over his mouth to keep her from seeing he was smiling at that. She was so charmingly contrite and courageous, in her own way. He clearly terrified her and yet, here she was in his office, trying to get what she needed to help him fix his ship. He suddenly found that he felt like he liked her a lot more than he'd thought he had.

He reminded himself that he couldn't afford his crew fighting with her staff during the crisis. But he needed all his lieutenants doing other things and she was showing some spunk now. He said sternly, "Are there going to be any more fights aboard my ship on your watch?"

"No sir." She said quickly.

She hadn't bothered to deny the first fight, he noticed.

"Okay then."

"Does that mean I don't need to find a lieutenant?"

"That's what it means."

He finished cleaning the dried blood slowly and they didn't speak again. He was focused on his task and she was struggling to think with him so close. This close she was aware of how much bigger than her he was. It was intimidating, and thrilling in a confusing way. He smelled like adrenaline and sweat and something in the reptilian part of her brain clicked unexpectedly on as she breathed it in. He smelled to her like he was an animal in bed but kissed unexpectedly softly: the kind of man who had rough hands but knew how to use them. She imagined his hands softening and sliding down the curves of her face, then neck and arms until they rested on her hips, then pulling her abruptly forward into a demanding kiss. In her imagination the tension between them crackled so ferociously she began to worry that it was visible to him too. In reality he unwrapped a large band-aid. He lined it up carefully on her forehead and pressed the edges down gently.

He stepped back and crumpled up the wrappers and discarded gauze, then tossed into the disposal. She breathed out a nearly audible sigh of relief and regret as he stepped away from her. "Right, you're all cleaned up. I'll shut off the replicators and announce that all food will be eaten in the banquet hall until repairs are finished in two hours. You're dismissed Miss Sparrow."

"Right…thank you sir." He voice cracked a little bit.

Back in her room she'd made her list of Ensigns and she contacted them and the other cooks on the ship using the PADD in her room. She told them to shower and be in fresh clothes in the kitchen as soon as possible. She took a shower herself and changed into a fresh black dress before dashing back to the kitchen.

Carrow and a few others Ensigns were there waiting for her. The cooks arrived as a group a few minutes after her. They looked both more and less prepared than the Ensigns.

Unlike the Ensigns they were wearing aprons and they'd made sure their hands were clean (she'd had to tell Carrow and a few others to scrub their hands with the hard-bristle brushes by the sink to get the dirt out from under their fingernails). But they looked dazed and unfocused. Like her, it had been their first combat experience and they were rattled. They took up their places on the right side of the kitchen, carefully segregating themselves from the Star Fleet personnel.

She tried to take a lesson from Kirk: she took a breath and tried to pitch her voice with that same mix of steel and brass he had when he talked to the crew.

"Okay welcome back to the kitchen Chefs." She said, motioning everyone to stop what they were doing and come to gather around her as she stood against the oven. "The Captain is going to announce in about an hour and a half that the food replicators will be shut off for the rest of the time it takes to repair the ship, which means that this kitchen is going to be feeding six hundred people for the foreseeable future…" She began.

"What?" Shelly's voice broken over the crowd. "We didn't sign up for that and we're not his stupid crew. Kirk can't ask us to do this."

She shot a glance at the Ensigns. They had all straightened up at this remark and looked like they were ready to take a crack at giving Tom another black eye to match the one she already had. She spoke quickly, "Captain Kirk," she stressed Captain as much as she could, "didn't ask us. I volunteered."

"So we have a choice then." Shelly said snidely.

There was a brief moment where all the air seemed to rush out of Maddie. She teetered on the edge of folding. Maybe Tom is right, she thought, maybe this whole trip was a mistake. Maybe I'm not cut out for this. Maybe I just can't do this. Unexpectedly, Kirk's voice seemed to say in her ear with that same harsh inflection he'd used in his office, _"Are there going to be anymore fights aboard my ship on your watch?"_

Maddie set her mouth in a line. "You always have a choice." She said firmly. "You can to choose to cook the very best you know how and pull your weight. Or you can choose to leave the kitchen and return to your quarters. If you choose the later however I will not only submit a request to security to throw you into the brig for insubordination for the duration of this trip, I will also make sure you never work for any restaurant I chef at of or anyone I'm friends with chefs at when we return to earth."

She had no idea how to submit a request to security to throw someone in the brig or if they would even take her seriously, but it barely mattered. Tom and the other chefs had even less of a grasp of Star Fleet protocol than she did and it sounded about right.

Silence followed this statement as the chef's realized what was happening. That morning when the fight had broken out in the kitchen she'd stuck up for Carrow in Kirk's office but she'd also blamed him for the fight. Like the rest of the chefs, the crew of the Enterprise had been slightly haughty to Maddie and she'd resented them for it. Over the last two weeks of the voyage, some bad feelings had been brewing between the chefs and the Ensigns in the kitchen and Maddie had always sided with the chefs.

Was she changing sides on them?

"Welcome back to the kitchen Chefs. We're going to be doing things a little differently today but we're going to do them with the same focus and attention that we use when we cook for ambassadors. This is going to be simple food we can make a lot of fast. We will be offering four things twenty-four hours: spaghetti and pasta sauce, Skreelakpow soup, scrambled eggs and grilled-cheese sandwiches on KptoauTok bread. In twelve hours half of the chefs will be given six hours of down time and when they return the others will take their six hours. The Ensigns will be rotated out when their shifts are over and replaced so we will have a minimum of ten people in the kitchen at all times.

"When it gets to that stage the Ensigns will take over distribution but for now they're going to clean up the kitchen while we work on recipes. Chefs Miller, Kaplix and Zaplinski you guys are on the grilled-cheeses and the spaghetti. Davis, Porter, Fines and Barrois you guys are on the soup and pasta sauce. Shelley, Smith and Yu, you guys are on the scrambled eggs. Ensigns, you'll work with me on clean up."

She tried to mimic Kirk's voice as she spoke, "the people aboard this ship are going to be pulling more than their weight to try to get the ship back on its feet as swiftly as possible. Let's make sure that when they want it they have some good food to eat, food that we can be proud to serve them. Think about what you take out of the replicator thought too. The Captain said we needed to get power consumption under four percent. Let's see if we can get it to three."

She assigned each team a station in the kitchen next and told them they had twenty minutes to prepare a recipe to propose to her.

She'd expected some sort of fight when she stopped talking. She'd even been ready for some screaming and throwing of dishes but they simply went to their places without commenting. No one even asked for a different station or assignment: they simply obeyed. It was almost eerie that they didn't fight her on anything and for a moment she was drawn up short by the lack of resistance. The kind of personality that is attracted to being a high-end chef is the kind of willfully flamboyant character that is ill designed to make simple scrambled eggs but excellent at flying off the handle at the lightest touch. Tom, for example, had the prototypical chef personality.

And true to form, his was the only recipe she had a problem with. "Are you guys thinking about doing a cream reduction?" She asked when she'd red over the list of ingredients.

"A savory cream reduction with mushrooms." Tom said.

She shook her head. "That will take too much time and the crew won't even like it much. Cook like you would for your nieces and nephews: simple, quick and not much to wash afterwards okay?"

Shelly grinned sardonically. "What do you want to do Chef?" He asked.

_I want to punch you in the face Tom_, she thought. Instead she said, "Will you please step out into the hall with me Chef Shelly?" There was a thin needle of ice through her voice that she was quite proud of.

Smith and Yu tried to shoot each other meaningful glances without meeting either Tom or Maddie's eyes.

"Sure Chef." Shelly said and followed her out in the hall.

"Tom, what the fuck is your problem?" She hissed.

"What the fuck is my problem? What the fuck is your problem? This isn't what I signed up for. You need to get a handle of this situation."

"Getting a handle of this situation is exactly what I'm doing!"

He pointed into the kitchen. "Maddie you have two of the four highest paid desert chefs in the Federation making scrambled eggs for Star Fleet Ensigns. That is a fucking joke."

"Are you out of your mind Tom?" She exploded. "Seriously, what about this situation hasn't clicked yet in your brain? We are trapped in an explosive fog fighting an enemy with cloaking technology and the ship is running at fifty-three percent capacity. And you think it's beneath you to make scrambled eggs to help the ship get repaired?"

"It's the crew's job to repair the ship." He said matter-o-factly.

"It's your job to do what I fucking say." She said. "And if that's not enough motivation for you Tom how about this: if you don't you could die because the ship won't be ready for another attack. That doing anything for you?"

"Why are you taking their side?" He demanded. "They aren't your people Maddie, we are."

"Tom you're pissed because the crew treats you like a snobby, over-paid useless civilian with fucked up priorities and that's exactly what you are doing right now. What are you talking about 'sides?' That stupid rivalry between the chefs and the crew ends right fucking now, I swear to God. I don't have time for it anymore."

For a moment he stared into her eyes and for the first time he looked like he was taking her seriously. He frowned. "What the hell is going on with you?" He asked.

"Christ Tom! You like making scrambled eggs! You used to make them for us in the mornings before class in culinary school!"

Tom was unexpectedly smiling. "It wasn't that I liked making scrambled eggs. It was that you liked eating them." He said softly.

She swallowed. "I wasn't kidding about throwing you in the brig. If you give me any more lip or any less than your very best, and I know what your best looks like, I'll walk you to security myself. Get a grip on yourself Tom and go make some fucking scrambled eggs." She pointed to the door.

"You're pretty hot when you shout Maddie." He teased. "I don't think I've ever seen you do it and it's getting me riled up…I don't know if I'm going to be able to focus on cooking if you keep going."

Maddie tried not to but she laughed at that. "I'm serious." She said through a smile.

"Make some fucking scrambled eggs." He mimicked her. "If you'd ordered me around like that the last time I made you eggs you would have gotten a lot more than breakfast."

He was looking at her lips when he said it.

"Are we going to have any more problems?" She asked.

He shook his head. "Let's get in there before they think you've taken me to the brig."

* * *

Kirk was surprised when the ambassadorial core asked for (demanded actually) a meeting with him. Civilians, particularly civilians with diplomatic status and enough credits to buy the really nice champagne when they want to, usually don't have much fight left in them after a ship explodes around them. But he'd been surprised once already.

First there had been the girl, Maddie Sparrow. He wondered if she knew how much eight percent of the ships power meant in a time like this. He doubted it. She'd asked him if she could set it up like she was asking him a favor. If he'd know she could do that he would have ordered her to. And she'd been such a sight to see with the bottle of high-end champagne in one hand and a goose egg still growing on her forehead and a little blood on her nice, white shirt. Spock had probably been right about her, she'd been showing backbone he'd never expected from a skinny little girl like her.

She was plucky, bursting into his office like that after a crisis, he had to give her that. And James Kirk liked nothing so much as he liked a plucky girl. Even through the haze of adrenaline and the million things distracting him, he'd noticed in his office earlier the way she smelled when he'd been wiping the blood from her forehead. In her own panic she'd been sweating. It wasn't a bad smell either, a little like honey when it mixed with her perfume.

It wasn't anything more than a chemical attraction, and he knew how little that meant. Bones had once explained to Jim that this was the part of his brain in charge of his sex drive telling him that their babies would be genetically successful. Still…it was a nice feeling, and distracting, and important in its own way. He couldn't quite stop thinking about her. He imagined that she'd never had a goose egg in her life but plenty of champagne. He imagined she kissed sweetly, even when she was drunk. He imagined what it would be like to find her in the bathtub and slip his hands under the steaming surface of the water.

Kirk reminded himself that he was in the middle of a crisis and that there were seven ambassadors waiting for him in the conference room and he didn't need to get himself riled up. He picked up his pace.

The seven of them were bunched up at the far end of the room and not talking when he entered the room. He tried to decide if that meant anything and couldn't. "Good day gentlemen." He said evenly.

Rogers spoke first. "Thank you for agreeing to meet with us Captain Kirk. We all appreciate that you must have a lot on your plate right now. We wouldn't distract you from your duties, except what we have to say is of the utmost importance."

Kirk nodded. He did feel like he had more important things to be doing but saying it aloud wouldn't help him get back to them any quicker. "What can I do for you?" He asked.

"We're wondering Captain why the ship isn't moving forward."

Jim's eyes narrowed. This was an odd question for a number of reasons and he hesitated for a moment before asking, "What do you mean by that Ambassador?"

"Why is the ship no longer moving toward Rivas?"

Again, Jim paused for a moment before answering. "Engineering is using all power on repairs."

"Warp factor two is a negligible loss captain and can be maintained while repairs are in process."

There was a sinking feeling in Jim's stomach. There was something he didn't understand about the situation and it made him nervous. He felt like putting his back to the wall. "You're saying that you wish to continue towards Rivas?" He asked, unable to keep the incredulous note from his voice.

"Without delay."

"Excuse me Ambassador but we just ran across a Klingon Bird-of-War and we have no reason to think there aren't others. We also have no reason to think that we would survive another attack I admire your dedication to your task but I intend to turn the ship around and return to earth when the repairs are made." Kirk said slowly.

"That will not be possible I'm afraid." The Ambassador said. Ambassador Xizas handed him an envelope, which he laid carefully on the table. Kirk recognized it immediately as an order from Star Fleet Command. It had been sealed by hand by General Pike to prevent the orders from being tampered with. "In this you'll find a mandate from General Pike giving me authority to order you to proceed at all costs."

Kirk took the orders and opened them slowly. It was a direct order just as the ambassador had said and Pike's signature was at the bottom. "May I ask why we are proceeding?" He said carefully.

"You may ask Captain but I'm afraid you will get no answer." Rogers said simply.

Kirk nodded, his lips pressed tightly together. He took a moment to size Rogers up. The man was tall and broad in the shoulders with jet-black hair, though he was roughly fifty. He was normally clean-shaven but this morning he had salt-and-pepper stubble on his chin, which gave away that his hair was dyed. But hours after an attack, he looked almost un-rattled. And he looked like someone who wasn't bluffing having winning cards. It went against everything in Kirk's nature to let someone else make decisions for him but Rogers looked at least somewhat trustworthy. He seemed smart and serious and as if he had weighed his options carefully. Besides, Kirk didn't have a choice: orders are orders.

"We will continue once repairs are made but not before."

"Captain, in that mandate…" The Ambassador began.

"You are given the authority to choose whether the mission is called off or not Ambassador but not how we proceed. I am the Captain of this ship and I will decided how to execute my mission." Kirk said sharply. "We move once repairs are completed."

Whatever he thought about Rogers, it was important for him to make clear where the man's authority ended, order from General Pike or not. Besides if they were going to fly deeper into this fog and possibly face another Bird-of-War, Kirk wanted to be damn sure they were in top form.

"I see."

A moment of silence passed between them. "Is that all gentlemen?" Kirk said finally.

"Yes Captain, that will be all."

Kirk nodded and left swiftly. In the hall he hesitated. He'd had a meeting with

Bones to talk about clearing the rubble on deck thirteen, which had trapped several bodies underneath and the health procedures for doing that. But Bones wasn't who he needed to talk to just then. He tapped his com badge. "Kirk to Doctor McCoy. Bones I'm pushing our meeting back."

"Okay Jim."

"Can you make the call without me?"

"Yes but..."

"Make the call then."

Two minutes later when he scrambled over some wreckage in the hallway of deck eleven Scotty winced visibly. The Chief engineer had fled engineering in the hopes that Kirk wouldn't come looking for him. "Sir, your behavior is exactly why they don't let the husbands of women in labor into the operating room. No one can work when there's someone constantly demanding how things are going." He said preemptively as the captain approached.

"I need the time frame to be days, not weeks Scotty." Kirk said flatly "I need my ship back online."

"I told you Captain, I can't tell you how long it will be until I've done a more profound assessment on the power couplings. I have my best people down there looking at the problem. We'll tell you something as soon as we know something."

"I want you down there looking at the problem."

Scotty turned to face Kirk and rolled his eyes. "If you keep crowding me sir the baby will never get born."

"Oh you're a doctor now?" Kirk shot back.

"Well if you don't believe me you can go ask Dr. McCoy. Sick bay is on deck eight if I remember correctly."

Kirk laughed. "Relax Scotty. I'm here for Spock. I need to talk with him about some ship's business."

"All right but get him back as soon as you can. He's been a real help patching the hull." Scotty said, pointing down the hall to where the Vulcan was standing with a group of engineers.

Spock had turned at the sound of his own name and was now walking towards Kirk in his usual quick but careful step. Jim pointed down the hall behind Spock and said, "We're going to my ready room."

"Understood." Spock said.

"Fix my damn ship!" Jim called back at Scotty as they left.

"Stop breaking _my_ damn ship!"

He jogged to the ready room. He found he was having trouble slowing himself to a walking pace, sitting or taking no for an answer. They were in danger and everything that was James Kirk was bent towards the idea of getting his ship and his crew out of it. He smiled a little bit, turning his head away from Spock so the Vulcan wouldn't see.

Whatever Bones thought, Kirk's first officer was rapidly becoming one of the captain's favorite people on the ship. Of course it probably made sense that after one of you had nearly choked the other to death on the bridge of the Federation Flagship you either had to be best friends or sworn enemies for the rest of your life. But Kirk was finding that he was starting to like even the annoying little things Spock did. There was no one else on the Enterprise, Jim was sure, that would take his jogging in stride. Even the invitation to the ready room had been odd enough for most people to ask questions.

"I just met with Ambassador Rogers and the other ambassadors." He said flatly. He took out the order from General Pike he had folded under his arm and passed it to Spock. "The Ambassador ordered me on General Pike's authority to continue on to Rivas."

Spock carefully unfolded and read the order before replying. Then he said, "did he give an explanation for his actions?"

"No."

"It is most unusual for an ambassador to be given this sort of authority by Star Fleet." Spock said carefully.

Jim nodded. "What do you know about Rogers?"

As usual, Spock knew quite a bit. "Ambassador Rogers is one of the Federations most skilled and experienced diplomats. He was made an Ambassador fifteen years ago and before that served in several consulate positions. He's made a name for himself as Star Fleets first choice when making first contact with a new species Most famously he brokered the highly advantageous mining agreements with Gorish 12 and the settlement dispute with the Spex. He is a highly respected member of the diplomatic community."

"What do you think about him?"

"I'm afraid I do not understand the question."

"What kind of man do you think he is?"

The Vulcan's high brows pulled together in confusion. "I think that he is a highly respected member of the diplomatic community Captain, as I said."

Kirk smiled. "Come on Spock, you've met the man. What did you think of you when you shook his hand? Do you think he's someone I can trust to make decisions for my ship and my crew?"

Spock could have solved a chalkboard full of complex mathematical problems in the time he took to answer that question. But Jim let the silence stretch on, wondering if the answer would be worth the wait. Finally his first officer said, "I think that Ambassador Rogers has acted in the past in a responsible and logical way."

That was probably as close as Vulcans got to intuition Jim decided. "What about Pike?" Jim asked. "What do you think he was playing at, sending us into a situation like this blind?"

Spock pressed his lips together. "The Admiral's past actions indicate a great deal of care for this ship and crew. He seems particularly interested in you as well Captain. I do not believe that he would have put you in this situation without justification." Spock said finally.

For some reason, Jim felt slightly uncomfortable. Pike and Jim's own father had always been inextricably linked in his mind for some time and he wondered if Spock had made the same jump. He felt somehow that Spock had heard something he hadn't said in his last question. But Spock was right. He trusted Pike at least.

Rogers he was less sure about. "Could you get the reason he ordered us to continue to Rivas out of the Ambassador with a mindmeld?" He asked.

The Vulcan looked almost surprised. "Yes, though that would be against Star Fleet regulations given that the Ambassador has classified that information."

Kirk nodded. "But you could get information that he was trying to hide out of his mind?"

The Vulcan cocked an eyebrow. "Yes Captain. It is possible."

"Good." Kirk said. "I don't like this Spock and I want to know I can get at that information if I really need to. Does it make sense to you that a diplomatic core would order us forward, risking their own lives to get to this planet? All the diplomats I ever knew cut and ran at the first sign of blood."

"It is true that ambassadors, particularly those on Ambassador Roger's level, are not involved in combat missions." Spock said simply. "It is logical therefore to assume that we have not been given all the facts of the mission."

"But why keep me out of the loop?" Kirk asked.

"There are two reasons that I see as possibilities sir." Spock answered promptly. "The first is that the mission is covert and Star Fleet hopes to keep whatever will transpire at Rivas a secret even after it has been completed. Giving you the mission objectives would then compromise it's the covert nature. The second is the personality of Ambassador Rogers. He is known for…I believe the appropriate expression is 'playing his cards very close to the vest.' It could be that the Ambassador has simply decided that there is some advantage to keeping only the diplomatic core informed."

Kirk nodded. "Fine. We will move when the ship repairs are complete and we run sensors on full power the whole way."

"About the possibility of another attack Captain, Ensign Chekov came to me with

a very interesting idea that I think might give us the upper hand if we run across another Bird-of-Prey." Spock said. "He made the very interesting point that even a cloaked ship will leave some sort of trail in the gas. We didn't notice them earlier because we weren't looking for them but we might be able to teach the computer to recognize trails in the gas and lock our targeting program onto where the ship should be. It won't be as accurate as normal sensor readings of course but it could give us at least enough accuracy to hit the ship."

Jim's eyebrows shot up and his heart skipped a beat. He felt like hugging the young Russian Ensign, wherever he was. Instead he clapped Spock on the shoulder hard. "That's brilliant Spock!" He almost shouted.

The Vulcan raised an eyebrow. "Indeed, Ensign Chekov's logic is often extremely elegant and innovative. This time however, I believe he has outdone himself."

"Are you sure about this? Can you really get it to work?" Jim demanded.

If they could get it to work that would make all the difference in the world in another firefight. If they could get this working, he almost hoped he would run into another Bird-of-War. Instead of being nearly impossible to beat in the fog, the cloaked ships would have their main advantage cut out from under them.

Spock shook his head. "Ensign Chekov is running preliminary tests right now. It is of course possible Captain but implementation will be difficult. Writing a new targeting program is no small undertaking."

"You focus on this Spock, you and Chekov both. Whoever you need to do this, get them on it right away; I don't care where you pull them. If you can do this, not only will it mean that the gas is not a problem but it will mean that their cloaking system is completely ineffective. They won't be able to expect us to fire on them before they de-cloak." Kirk said.

Spock nodded. "I am hopeful that we can also integrate it into the sensor sweep program. That would allow us to recognize ships before they fire."

"That would be nice." Kirk agreed.

"I also heard that Miss Sparrow has turned the kitchen into the main food distribution center in the ship." Spock said. "That was a very logical idea on your part Captain. I have spent the last several hours in engineering and the additional power has been almost essential to the repair effort."

Kirk smiled. "It was her idea Spock. You were right about her all along I guess. She was showing command material in my office after all."

"Indeed."

**Author's Note: Thank you all so much for reading my story. I worked really hard on this chapter and reviews make me so happy my head spins a little bit...that's all I'm saying. Also I'm still looking for a beta reader.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3—What Dinner Is Made Of**

Over the next two days Maddie had a hard time remembering what life was like before the attack. Everything in the kitchen had changed but though sometimes she felt as though she would pass out if she didn't sleep soon, sometimes she felt as though her heart might explode in her chest from pride. The kitchen was running better than it ever had before despite how tired the chefs were. Tom had accused her of switching sides but now most of the other chefs seemed to have switched sides too.

This was the most fun she'd had cooking in a long time and the most satisfied she could ever remember being. Problems rose up every hour but people were showing initiative she'd never seen before.

The entrée chefs decided to make the pasta by hand to save power and stayed late, cutting into their precious few hours of down time, to finish. The desert chefs switched from scrambled eggs to Belgian waffles to keep people from getting bored and then decided to make ice cream with a machine they made themselves out of one of the enormous pans and an industrial stirrer they called engineering to find. They pushed power consumption down to five percent in the first day, four percent the next and then three.

The crew was responding too. The food was better than they were used to (five star chefs, even in a hurry, still beat replicator rations) and the environment in the cantina where the food was served (converted from the banquet hall the ambassador's had eaten in) felt like a summer camp. Star Fleet personnel like the idea that they're like a family and pulling together in a crisis is one of the things they do best. Eating meals together had turned into a moral booster no one had ever anticipated and Maddie watched it happen first with awe and then with elation.

The Ensigns in the kitchen had even stopped calling her 'Miss Sparrow.' Like the other cooks they called her 'Chef' or 'Chef Sparrow.' They stopped treating her and the other chefs like they were incompetent and then started to treating them with open respect. Even Tom stopped openly provoking hostility between the staff and crew.

The chefs and Star Fleet personnel had both come to realize they had more in common than they'd initially thought. Everyone in the kitchen prided themselves on their position, which they considered elite; everyone had an ego and was motivated by the idea of figuring out how to do their job better than anyone else ever had; and everyone knew how to stay on their feet for eighteen and twenty hour shifts. The culture clash they'd endured in the beginning had broken open and what came out was a cathardic mutual goodwill.

And Maddie was proud of the way she took advantage of this. She closed and opened every shift with a five-minute meeting where she listed the innovations or sacrifices that had been made and recognizing their authors. It was such a small thing, but people wanted to be on that list and she got great results for it. She began to wonder what she would have to do to get a kitchen on earth to run like this.

On the morning of the third day, she was talking with Tom about using some of the cheese they had replicated before the crisis in the pasta when Carrow approached her, "Chef, the Captain is requesting that you join him in the dinning room."

She was still thinking about cheese per person per day and she hadn't quite been listening. "Sorry, can you repeat that Carrow?" She asked.

"The Captain is having breakfast in the dinning room and he asked me to have you join him."

Her brows twitched together. She hadn't spoken to the Captain since she'd come to his ready room to ask if she could open the kitchen. She felt apprehension weighing heavily on her suddenly as much as she told herself had no reason to be nervous. She'd done well, hadn't she? She'd pushed the energy consumption a percent below the limit he'd set and there hadn't been any problems with the staff that she knew about. She was proud of the job she and her staff were doing. But she nodded to Carrow and said to Shelly, "we can decide about the cheese when I get back but for the moment you make the calls on how to proceed."

Tom gave her a strange, unreadable look but nodded shortly.

The breakfast rush had just finished and the Ensigns on this shift had all filed out. There were two lieutenants who had stayed behind to have a meeting in the cafeteria. They looked up when Maddie came in, smiled, and looked back down. Aside from that, Kirk, sitting on the far end of one of the three long tables, was alone.

She crossed the room to meet him. She took off her apron and neat chef's cap and folded them briskly before putting them on the seat and then sat across from Kirk. "What can I do for you Captain?" She asked evenly, proud that there was nothing in her voice that betrayed her apprehension.

She was dressed as impeccably as ever and her hair, even after six hours under the hat was still in an elegant, practical bun with hardly a hair out of place. Her posture too was still ramrod straight on the bench. But Kirk could see she was tired. There were dark marks under her eyes like two bruises and her skin was slightly sallow.

"Have you had breakfast yet?" He asked.

"No, I haven't." She tried to remember the last time she'd had any food aside from tastes of various dishes as quality control. It had probably been about twelve hours since she'd eaten and it had been thirty since she'd slept.

"Have some waffles with me." Kirk said.

She gave him a confused look but obediently went to get herself a plate of waffles. Every experience she'd had with the Captain had been so intense and emotional she wasn't quite sure how to eat waffles with him. She didn't feel like he was going to yell at her again at least. She cut her waffles into strip and then rotated the plate and cut them into bites with swift, practiced strokes of her knife.

"These are the best waffles I've ever had." Kirk said as he watched her.

She looked up from her plate, which she'd been staring intently at, and found that he was looking right back at her and grinning. It was hard for her to meet his eyes when they were this close. They were such a bright blue that they didn't seem quite natural, and when they were focused on her like this she felt the muscles just under her stomach clench involuntarily, though not unpleasantly. She'd never seen him smile before either and she hadn't been prepared for how disarmingly charming it was. It was flirtatious but not in an overly aggressive way. She could see that he was one of those men who people euphemistically say "like women." For the first time, she realized that he was only about three years older than her. For the first time, he seemed like a human being.

She'd known he was good looking before but awareness of him seemed to crash down on her suddenly. He was tall and broad in the shoulders and chest. His features were angular and masculine, with something almost predatory about them. Even his eyes, which were a dazzling blue, were almost cruelly intense. Only his mouth, she noticed now that it was no longer fixed in a hard line when he looked at her, seemed to soften his looks. The lips were pink and looked gentle somehow, almost tender.

The physical presence of him was like a lead weight on a sheet inside her. She felt as though her whole world had suddenly focused on this man and was sliding towards him. She could smell him, a comforting smell that was somehow shot through with something a little dangerous that made warmth run like lightening through her body. It reminded her of sensation of a sip of bourbon sliding down her throat and the warmth that followed. And like the bourbon, it made it very difficult to think clearly.

She smiled back tentatively. "Thank you Captain." She said. "I'll tell Markus, Tom and John that you like them."

He waved her off. "I'm not really your Captain and you're not really my crew. We can go by our first names while we eat breakfast." He said. "Call me Jim. What do you go by? Madeline right?"

She nodded. "Most people call me Maddie though."

"I think we got off on the wrong foot the other day in my office Maddie and I'd like to start over if that's okay with you." He said.

She paused with a bite of waffles nearly to her mouth. She hadn't expected that. She said finally, "of course Cap…Jim."

"I think it's important for you to know that when I called you back into my office the other day I was planning to apologize for what I'd said before." He said. "You should understand that the safety of my crew is very important to me. That being said, I shouldn't have called you a liar. If you say there wasn't a fight then I trust you, as I would anyone in a command position aboard this ship."

She really hadn't been expecting that. The waffles were still hovering between her plate and lips. "Thank you." She wasn't sure what else to say. It surprised her how much it meant to her to hear him say that. She wanted to tell him that he was giving her more credit than she deserved. There had been a fight she hadn't been able to control but she felt that she'd grown so much in the past few days she would have known what to do now. She wanted to tell him that she'd learned a lot from him and the Enterprise crew about command but she still wasn't very good at it yet but that she felt like she could be if she was given time and training.

"You earned it." He said simply.

She took her bite of waffles and chewed thoughtfully. She didn't know what to say next and she was scared she would make a fool of herself. This was a new experience for Maddie. Growing up pretty, talented and rich hadn't taught her much about feeling intimidated or shy. She finally said carefully, "You have a really incredible crew."

His charming smile was back. "The best and brightest serve on the Enterprise." He said, voice full pride.

"I've learned a lot in the last two days from them." She smiled. "I never thought I'd meet people who could stay up longer than chefs or who were more driven by the idea of perfection."

"Why did you decide to come on this mission? If you don't mind my asking."

She considered lying but she was to tired to think of a good one and for some reason she wanted Jim Kirk to know the truth about her. "I don't know why." She said. "About a year and a half ago I was walking to work and I saw this cat in a window of a pet shop. It was playing with a toy and it occurred to me that it was having more fun than I'd had in a long time. I guess I came along because it let me leave my job without having to explain that I wasn't happy."

She blushed. "I know, that sounds silly in light of all that's happened since then: that I ended up here because of cowardice."

Jim thought about the bar brawl he'd been in the middle of when Admiral Pike had found him. He supposed it could be argued he wouldn't be here except for what constituted reckless, childish behavior. Before Pike, no one in Jim's life had ever told him he had the right to expect people to listen when he talked so he'd tried never to have anything to say.

He said, "We're all cowards in one way or another. You do just fine when it matters."

She blushed again. She was pretty when she did that. She seemed to surprise herself with that response and he doubted she did it much. He imagined how it would feel to press her soft, warm skin to his in long stretches. He vividly wanted to know what little noise she made when she came and if she was the kind of girl who would make love in the middle of the afternoon. Kirk knew that there were a billion things in the universe he could have and a billion things he couldn't and he quite decide which category Maddie Sparrow was in, though he wanted to find out. Right now though there were other things he needed to take care of.

He said. "The ship will be in full working order in about twelve hours. At that time we will be proceeding with our mission to deliver the Ambassadors to Rivas but we'll need additional power to run sensors hot enough to spot another ship in this gas. I'd like to keep the individual replicators shut off and keep the single, central kitchen open. Do you think it can be turned into a more permanent operation? We have another two weeks before we reach Rivas."

She took a moment to think about it before she answered. "The chefs aren't sleeping enough." She said. "They won't be able to sustain this schedule for two weeks. I could make it work if we could have another ten Ensigns and if we could have the same Ensigns rotate through each shift so they could be taught to cook a little bit. "

"That's acceptable. I can send the supplementary Ensigns over for the next shift if you like."

She nodded. "That would be appreciated. We've been talking about how to push down to two percent power and we can do it, but the quality of the food is going to suffer, particularly if we're having Ensigns doing the cooking. You would make the chefs much happier if we could have three percent of the power. They like to serve good food and with that we can get the materials we really want." She said honestly. "But that's your call Captain."

"Take the three percent. Scotty will be happy to find a way to cheat a little with the sensors for better, I'm sure." He said. "But I thought I told you to call me Jim while we were eating waffles."

She smiled. "Congratulations on getting the ship back Jim."

He cocked his head to one side. He'd expected her to ask why they weren't turning around. The crew would accept without question that it was his right to say they would continue but he'd expected something bordering on insubordination from her. And he hadn't expected her to be so willing to continue the kitchen. He wondered what she would say to the other chefs and if she would have problems with them.

They had both finished their waffles and Jim had a meeting with Bones he was already late for. He stood and said, "get some sleep Maddie Sparrow."

She smiled. "When I can."

"You aren't any use to anyone if you're tired and making bad decisions. Make it soon."

She took a moment for herself after Jim left. She considered the last thing that he'd said. She'd had a low headache for the last ten hours and she'd come close to burning herself fairly badly taking a pan out of the oven this morning. She decided perhaps Jim was right. In another thirty minutes the shift would change and she took the time to sketch out the list of things that needed to be done that day. They would need to keep running on lowest possible power for the next shift while the repairs were being done. She'd decided to give herself the next twelve hours to sleep and prepare because after that she would need to get the kitchen started making the changes for the next two weeks. The Captain (Jim, she thought with a little flicker of delight in her stomach that he had asked her to call him Jim) had been right. She would be in better shape to deal with the new situation if she got some rest first.

At the shift change she called the staff around her when she went back in with a wave of her hand. She listed the accomplishments of the retiring shift as she normally did and then she announced, "I also have a number of additional announcements this morning. Captain Kirk has just told me that in another twelve hours the repairs to the Enterprise will be complete and we will continue on our way to Rivas."

"We're continuing?" Tom's voice was incredulous.

"We are continuing." She confirmed.

"Did the Captain mention why?"  
"It is not my place or yours to question the Captain on his decision. When you signed up for this mission Chef Shelly, you agreed to obey the Captain's orders for the duration. He has decided to move forward. To resist would be mutiny." She said, enunciating each word carefully and then continuing without giving Shelly or the others time to recover.

"As I said we will be continuing on our way to Rivas. The Captain has also asked us to continue running the kitchen while we continue on in the fog. This will free power that can be used to boost the sensor range and keep us safe as we continue. The Captain recognizes the great job you're all doing down here and now that we aren't in crisis anymore we won't be operating on such a tight schedule any more. We're getting ten new Ensigns assigned next shift and the Ensigns will now rotate each shift so they can be trained to cook. Chefs I'd like you to pick the Ensigns you work best with and I'll submit their names to be on your rotation. I also asked for three percent of the power so we can get more standard materials and provide a higher quality of food. You have all been very good about keeping energy needs a high priority and I commend you for that but I know you like to cook a better quality food. Let's see what we can teach the Enterprise about food on three percent energy."

When she got back to her quarters she fed the cat and fell into bed without taking even her shoes off or crawling under the covers. She was simply too tired. When she woke she felt almost weak with relief, like a long fever had finally broken. Her headache was gone and she realized she'd been hungry for probably close to a day without realizing it. She showered and dressed and went down the dinning room where she ate quickly with Tom, who hassled her the whole time about the Captain's decision to move forward.

"I can't believe you're sticking up for Kirk." He complained as she shoveled pasta into her mouth. "We aren't military personnel and even if we did agree to obey the Captain when we boarded this ship, we didn't sign up for this."

She paused and swallowed down her food as if she was going to speak. Instead she gave him a playful little smile and deliberately stuffed another huge bite of pasta into her mouth. She didn't have any plans to let her good mood be ruined by Tom.

"And now the esteemed Captain wants us to keep cooking around the clock so he can boost the sensors to keep us safe. You know what would keep us safe? Turning the ship around and going back."

She kept chewing without comment.

Tom smiled smugly, considered for a second and then changed tact. "He's a good looking man." He said slowly.

"If you want me to introduce you, you only have to ask." She said snidely.

"Ah, there goes a reaction." He said. "Am I hitting a little closer to the mark? He seems a little basic for you though Maddie. He seems like the type who knows how to start a bar fight, maybe even how to finish one… but very little else, however cocky he is."

She frowned. "Go fuck yourself Tom."

"So I am close to the mark then. That's pretty funny Maddie. I think you should go for it. The girls onboard say he's got a reputation for being quite good between the sheets. So I guess that makes three things he's good at. And you're pretty enough he shouldn't put up much resistance…"

"I said 'go fuck yourself Tom.'" She said a little more forcefully.

Tom cocked an eyebrow at her, barely able to contain his delight, which was almost manic with malice. "Oh that's just darling… you really do get all gooey between the legs for the Captain James Tiberius Kirk. That's hilarious."

She tried to tamp down on her anger and go back to her dinner.

"I would love to see what your mother would think of 'Jim' coming over for Christmas dinner. No need to set out the cutlery, he'll just eat with his hands. And think of the children…like a poodle and a wolf breeding. I wonder if they'd be civilized like their mother, or savage like their father."

She gritted her teeth and looked down at her food.

"I wouldn't breast feed them if I were you until I was sure who they took after."

Before she knew quite what she'd done, she'd stood and shoved her plate across the table forcefully, knocking his into his lap with the impact.

"Hey! What the fuck Maddie!" He shoued, looking down at his lapful of pasta.

"You're _such_ an asshole Tom." She snarled, turning to stalk out of the dinning room.

Why had she let Tom get under her skin like that? She wondered as she slumped against the wall in the hall outside the dinning room. After a satisfying reaction like that, she'd never get him to let go of the joke. She put a hand through her loose hair and slammed her foot against the wall as hard as she could.

"Hey, easy on the ship. We just got her back together." Someone said.

She looked up and found she was looking at the woman who had pulled her to her feet on the bridge during the attack. She was grinning at Maddie to let her know she was joking. Maddie grinned back. "Sorry," she said.

"Food not to your liking?" The woman joked.

"Yeah. Who's making this stuff?" Maddie joked back.

"We were never properly introduced." The woman put out her hand. "I'm Nyota Uhura, lieutenant first-class in charge of communications."

Maddie took her hand and shook it. "I'm Maddie Sparrow. I guess I'm the ship's cook now. And I never properly thanked you for pulling me up on the bridge. I'm sorry I was such a mess."

"You did well for a civilian." Uhura said simply. "Some people go through four years in Star Fleet training and react worse than you the first time they see combat."

Maddie nodded. "Thanks."

"And you're doing a good job on the food too." She said, jerking her head toward the cafeteria.

"It's a pleasure to feed people who are working so hard and who are so grateful." Maddie said honestly.

Uhura nodded her acceptance. "I saw what happened between you and that other chef just now." She said bluntly. "I came out here to let you know that you would be welcome at my table whenever you like."

Maddie licked her lips. "That's very nice of you Lieutenant Uhura."

Uhura waved her off. "Call me Nyota. And it's nothing."

* * *

Over the next week the cafeteria, without anyone planning or deciding it, came to be the focal point of social life on the Enterprise. The ship's entertainment had been turned off as well to save power and so people stayed after they'd finished eating. They played cards, board games, and music or just sat around and talked with their shipmates. Maddie and the other chefs (except Tom, of course) began to meet their new friends among the crew there too and started to integrate. With their reduced schedules they had time for leisure again.

She turned out to like Lieutenant Uhura quite a bit and ate with her several nights that week.

Kirk came too sometimes, which Maddie found increasingly distracting…and thrilling. Tom had been right at least in some respects: she found that she and Kirk had very little common experience but she didn't find that offensive. She like that they'd both grown up on earth, in each other's backyards practically in the relative size of the Federation, and come to be such different people. She liked the way he saw things.

She got a little better at meeting his eyes when he talked but the sensation of him looking at her was as strong as ever: she'd simply gotten practice enduring it. She was constantly aware of the distance between their bodies when he was around and sometimes she felt like she was running a slight fever when he pitched his voice slightly lower than usual. Tom, she supposed she had to admit, had been right about a number of things, though that didn't change her mind about whether or not he had merited that drink in the face.

Spock came very often as well, though he seemed to be still as busy as they had been before the ship was repaired for some reason. She was surprised to find the half-Vulcan was Uhura's boyfriend. Maddie felt like she did well if she understood half of what he said, but he was an interesting dinner conversationalist, she had to give him that. "You will forgive me if I speak too bluntly Miss Sparrow but I have never understood why your profession has survived into the age of the replicator." He said one night at dinner.

She had been thinking about something else and she looked at him confused, "I'm sorry, what? Could you repeat that Mr. Spock?"

Kirk had perked up at this too. He said laughingly, "I believe Spock is asking you to explain the difference between you and the replicator."

"I mean no disrespect Miss Sparrow." Spock said. "In fact what inspired me to ask was that I have noticed that several members of the crew have remarked that they prefer the food that you cook to replicator food, which is highly illogical as the replicator is capable of making a molecule for molecule replica of whatever is put into it."

She smiled widely at that. She'd never been asked that question before but it was a good question, she supposed. "No disrespect taken Mr. Spock." She assured him. "It's a fair question I suppose…though no one has ever asked me it before."

She thought for a moment then said. "Uhura was last to be served and she got her chicken curry from another dish. Will you switch plates with me for a moment Uhura?" She asked. The other woman assented and they both sampled the other's dish. "Do you notice anything different about mine?"  
Uhura shook her head. "No, they're exactly the same."

Maddie smiled. "Yours has a little less pepper in it and the chicken was grilled a little bit longer than mine. Notice that the surface of the chicken on mine is less distinct from meat inside and the very slight sting in your mouth lasts a little longer."

Uhura laughed. "Why I suppose you're right!" She pushed her plate towards Spock. "Go ahead, try it Spock."

Spock put a forkful in his mouth and cocked his head to the side as he considered the difference. "I suppose you are correct in your assessment. However if Nyota is unable to distinguish the difference between the two dishes and the replicator provides a perfectly adequate meal…" He began.

"Haven't you ever heard that variety is the spice of life Spock?" Jim asked with a smile.

Spock raised an eyebrow. "I have heard that expression Captain, yes. And in my own experience I have noticed that humans are drawn to anything novel in their environment. But to suggest that you are unconsciously irritated by monotony even on a level you cannot consciously detect without it being pointed out is illogical. Perhaps Miss Sparrow, who has dedicated her life to developing her palette, can claim some more rewarding experience from eating human-prepared food, but I fail to understand how it benefits those of you who can't even distinguish the two dishes."

Maddie toyed with her water glass and said, "Well as you said Mr. Spock, my profession has survived past the replicator. And it's a good question I suppose…"

After dinner they usually parted ways in the hall outside the cafeteria but Kirk hesitated that night. Maddie, who always knew what Kirk was doing when he was around, hesitated too. "What?" She asked as he looked at her with a strange, questioning look on his face.

"I…I was wondering what happened to that bottle of champagne you came into my ready room with after the attack." He said.

She smiled. "Why it's in my fridge in my quarters." She said. She hesitated for a second then said, "Would you like a glass Captain? Now that the crisis is over?"

He smiled too. "Sure."

* * *

Kirk swallowed hard as he stepped into Maddie Sparrow's quarters for the first time. She kept them slightly warmer than most people chose to and they smelled like her perfume and her body. He could feel his heart beat a little faster as he breathed in the air. Kirk's own chambers looked almost exactly the same as the day he moved in, with very few personal touches, but Maddie's were very much her own. There were a few watercolors on the walls and picture frames crowded together on the top of her overflowing bookshelves. His own room was neater (there was an open book on the couch that she'd turned over to mark her place instead of finding a bookmark for it and she'd left the shoes she'd worn the day before on the floor next to the couch) but hers was much more welcoming.

He couldn't help himself from sneaking a peak at her bed, which he could see in its nook from the doorway. It was covered in a dark blue comforter and soft white shirts that were still tangled from when she'd got up that morning. It was technically a violation of regulation not to make your bed aboard the Enterprise but he decided not to mention this to her. He imaged what it would be like to push her back into those sheets with his lips and his body. In the heat he could strip her naked on top of the sheets and she wouldn't get cold.

She went into the kitchen to get the champagne and the glasses. She slipped off her shoes as she walked, leaving them in a little line like an arrow pointing towards the kitchen. She called over her shoulder, "Make yourself at home Captain."

"Jim." He corrected her.

He went and looked at the photos and book she had on the bookcase nearest him. She was either much better read than he was or all her books were just props to make people think she was. He would have bet that they weren't props. But he'd been right about her upbringing, he though, as he looked at the video-photos. There was a charming set of her and a woman who was clearly her mother sitting on the porch of a mansion that was clearly their house. In it they both laughingly tried to wave off the photographer without success. There was one where she, as a girl of about seven, sat in the seat of a luxury sports car and pretended to drive while two boys sat in the back. At one moment one of the boys tried to pull her out of the drivers seat and a man's hand came on the screen, doubtless her father's, and made him let her go.

In the one Jim looked at the longest she was putting make up on a girl of about eleven in front of a mirror. She smiled a lot at the photographer, who could be seen in the mirror, but whose face was obscured by the camera and then finally turned and winked into the camera and gave a loving smile and then stuck out her tongue.

She came out of the kitchen with two glasses and the champagne. She set it on the coffee table and began to uncork the champagne.

"Is this your sister in the photo with you?" He asked, picking up the photo he'd been looking at.

She shook her head. "That's Bethie, my oldest niece and goddaughter."

"How many brothers and sisters do you have?" He asked.

She grinned. "I've got five older brothers."

She put down the unopened bottle went to another bookshelf and got out a picture of a group of five boys and one girl opening presents under an enormous Christmas tree and she pointed them all out in turn. Maddie as a little girl in the photo was dressed in an overlarge t-shirt and her hair was sticking up a little but she was grinning widely, showing two missing front teeth. "John has two girls Bethie and Maggie, who are thirteen and seven now. Michael twins Karen and Michael Jr. who are seven. Thomas just had a little boy named David. How about you? Have you got any brothers or sisters?"

"Two half brothers, Andrew and Steven." He said. "Neither of them have kids."

She laughed. "Sorry. Big families tend to go on about their members. I swear I won't make you talk about it anymore."

He shook his head. "No, you guys look like you have a lot of fun. Who took these photographs?" He asked. Without being told it was somehow clear to him that the same person had taken them. The people in the photographs all looked at him with the same loving exasperation.

"My dad did." She said. "He took photos all the time. We all used to really hate the fact that he always filming, even things we thought were stupid but after he passed a couple of years ago we all sort of realized how great they were. He wasn't in any of them physically or anything but you can tell how important we all were to him and that was a big part of who he was."

"I'm sorry for your loss." He said awkwardly.

For a brief moment he experienced confused, disconcerting profusion of emotion that he had to remind himself meant very little. It wasn't about her exactly but it felt linked to her. He had to remind himself that the idea of 'father' was not one around which he was entirely rational.

To his surprise though he found that what he'd said was a lie: all he felt looking at these photos was an intense jealousy that pushed out anything else like sympathy or pity. He felt something deep in his chest clench painfully as he thought about the father he'd never known and the way that his absence had destroyed Jim's mother. By all accounts Jonathan Kirk would have been an excellent father but that thought was bittersweet as he looked at the proof of what that could have looked like. It was such a different thing to loose a father after years with him than to never have known him.

He was suddenly, for the first time in years, remembering something that his mother had told him. She'd said that being loved was sustaining and being in love was motivating. In his childhood Jim had loved his mother and brothers a lot and they'd loved him but he'd been the eldest in a house with some pretty serious problems and there really hadn't been enough time for him. They certainly hadn't been like Maddie's family looked. It was true that people only take photos of the good moments of life but you could see in the expressions in her photos that her family loved each other with an easy, endless intensity he didn't remember seeing in his house. They looked well cared for: almost languishing in the abundance of money and support.

And years later there he'd been, all desperate motivation and no equilibrium, slugging it out in a bar when Pike had found him. And there she'd been, sustaining a job she had no passion for long after she should have left, and getting on the Enterprise for lack of drive to do anything else.

It felt strangely intimate, almost like a violation of her privacy, to think this way about her. He didn't know her very well after all and she hadn't done more than let him look at her old photos and offer up some platitudes about her dead father. She probably said almost verbatim the same thing to people who asked about the photos. She certainly hadn't invited him to draw such personal conclusions about her.

But Kirk had a lot of practice ignoring hard emotional truths. He pushed those thoughts to the back of his mind and said, "He seems like he was a great father."

"Thank you." She said simply. "He really was."

She went back to the couch and opened the champagne with an experienced hand. The pop was subdued and there was no fizz. She poured them each a glass and they settled themselves around the coffee table. He sat on the couch across from her and studied her. She was barefoot and she lifted her feet up next to her on the couch so she was sort curled sideways on one hip with her hands in her lap. She was wearing a long pearl necklace over a sleeveless white blouse and she absentmindedly played with the pearls. The glass, a proper champagne goblet, she held easily in her free hand.

"How do you like it?" She asked.

He nodded. "It's good… the best I've ever had I'm sure." He said. Then added honestly, "I wouldn't know the difference though."

She smiled. "You sound like Spock now. Just because you can't tell me what the difference is or why it's different doesn't mean your taste buds are less receptive."

"I guess not." He agreed, though secretly he suspected that this quality of champagne might be wasted on him.

"Besides," She said with a smile, "It's refreshing to drink with someone who doesn't comment endlessly on the acidity of the grapes and how it compares to other vintages."

"I have nothing to say about the acidity of the grapes." He agreed.

The cat came out from the bedroom and jumped up next to Jim and pushed it's head into Jim's arm for attention. He didn't like cats much but this one seemed all right. It was a young cat and very handsome: a dark tabby with a smooth pelt. It seemed to know it was attractive as it was constantly striking poses that accented its long, elegant lines. "Is this the cat from the pet store? The one that made you realized you weren't having fun anymore?" He asked.

She nodded, smiling. "Yep."

"What's its name?"

"His name is April." She said. "I know it's a girls name but it was in April that I saw him in the window."

They were silent for a moment while she played with her pearls and he scratched the top of the cat's head, hoping it wouldn't jump into his lap.

She bit her lip, hesitated and then said finally, "I don't mean to overstep my bounds but I have to say that I didn't expect the Spock and you to interact the way you do. Like everyone else I read about the Enterprise's maiden voyage in the newspaper and I thought the two of you would be more…"

"Hostile?" Jim asked.

"At least antagonistic."

Jim shrugged. "Spock and I actually have more in common than you might think." He said. Then he surprised himself by adding, "Both of us lost a parent to Nero for example. The Spock from the alternate timeline also mindmelded with me shortly after Vulcan was destroyed. No human who hasn't experienced that can possibly imagine the emotional ramifications of seeing your planet destroyed or what it means to be worldless."

She smiled a little sadly and put her hand over her heart. "I suppose it's my turn to offer my condolences." She said. "I am sorry for your loss. Your losses, I suppose."

Kirk liked that. She wasn't overbearing about it and he could hear sympathy but no pity in her voice. He surprised himself again by continuing, "We also both grew up feeling a little lost and like outsiders I think."

She nodded but didn't speak. He was glad. She had clearly never felt like an outsider before coming aboard the Enterprise in her life and he appreciated that she didn't compare their experiences.

When she finally spoke she said, "You're one of the only people aside from Lieutenant Uhura who expects human behavior from him I've noticed." She said. "The rest of us think of him as being entirely Vulcan and we tend to forget that he is half human."

"He doesn't seem to like when we remind him of that." Jim said with a smile.

She shrugged. "You are the two closest to him on the ship though. Maybe he likes it more than you think."

After that she asked Jim about the Enterprise's first mission and so he recounted that as they finished almost the whole bottle of champagne. She was a good listener: suitably impressed by his daring and the story but occasionally offering her opinion or a story of her own so it felt more like a conversation. When they'd both had enough champagne she recorked the bottle and brought it back into the kitchen.

He followed her saying, "Thanks for inviting me over for the champagne Maddie. I had a really nice time talking with you."

"Thanks for coming." She said. "It was my pleasure. I'd like to cook dinner for you and Uhura and Spock sometime if you're free. Maybe when we're out of the fog."

"Yeah…sounds good."

She turned to look up at him and they both realized suddenly and at the same time that their faces were only a few inches apart. They'd had to stand side-by-side so they could both reach the sink and now he could smell the champagne on her breath, which was sweet and slightly pungent, though not at all unpleasantly. Her eyes were huge and he was close enough to know that her pupils were dilated and he wondered if it was from lust or fear. That lupine, animal part of his brain reared up suddenly and screamed for him to pull her body against his and press his mouth down on hers. He told himself to go back into the living room and not do anything stupid but the smell of her was all he could think about and he for once in his life, he couldn't decide what to do.

She rocked forward onto her toes and pressed a light kiss to his lips. He didn't see fireworks but there was a roaring in his ears and a sudden hyperawareness in his body. The hairs on his body stood up and something just under his stomach began to ache pleasantly. When she realized he wasn't moving however, she pulled back quickly.

Her eyes opened to wide mortification and shame. "Oh my gosh…I mean…I really don't know what I just did that for. That was stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid." She murmured.

She started to back away from him, still babbling an apology. He caught her by the upper arm. "Woah, where are you going Maddie?" He asked.

She gulped. "It's just that…I mean, I just don't want you to get the wrong idea. I mean if you don't want to that's totally fine. I'd really be okay just being your friend." She mumbled, not looking at him. "I mean really, this isn't that big of a deal I swear. We can just…"

Girls, Jim thought, are crazy.

He pulled her roughly against him and pressed a kiss to her lips, one hand on her arm and the other with his elbow locked against the small of her back. She opened her mouth she tasted like the wine from dinner. Her lips were soft and she moaned deliciously when he nipped one lightly with his teeth. God if he ever got half a chance, Jim swore he'd spend a whole afternoon finding out just how to make her squirm before he fucked her good and hard. Maybe twice. She so controlled, so proper, so well bred and beautiful, it made him want to treat her a little roughly. It wasn't that he didn't respect her but there was something vicious and primitive in him that wanted to drag her off her little pedestal and debase her for a few hours before he let her climb back on it.

But this was not the time for that, he reminded himself. Slowly he drew his lips back from hers. Her eyes were like saucers and her pupils were dilated even more than before. She stared up at him, not blinking or breathing.

He stepped back across the kitchen so there was about two feet of space between them. "I want to Maddie. But you had three glasses of champagne tonight and I'm in charge of making decisions concerning your safety. So if you want to do this too we have to talk this over tomorrow when you're sober and then tell both Bones and Spock."

She smiled at him shyly. "Sounds romantic."

He smiled but answered seriously, "If we're… involved my first officer needs to know that, in case of a conflict of interest between your safety and the safety of the ship. The ship's physician needs to know about all physical relationships aboard the ship for medical reasons."

She bit her lips and he almost stepped forward. If she was going to say she didn't want to do that, he wanted to kiss her one last time before she did. But he had to let her make the decision on her own or he was the worst kind of scumbag he could think of.

She pushed long fingers through her hair and said, blushing almost scarlet, said, "can you tell them?"

He nodded. "Sure."

"Then do you want to come over for dinner tomorrow?" She asked. She winced as she said it though, screwing up her face as if she could barely force the words out.

"Hey, what's the look about?" He asked. "We can just talk tomorrow if you want."

She shook her head. "It's not that." She looked at him for the first time in a while and said. "Believe me Jim it's not that. It's just…I'm an idiot for thinking this isn't a horrible idea, right?"

"What's a horrible idea?"

"Never mind. I'll ask Uhura about it."

"What's a horrible idea?" He repeated.

"Oh I don't know. Getting involved with the Captain. Getting involved with you. Getting involved with you while you're my captain." She said, not looking at him again.

He thought about that for a second. "I don't know." He said honestly. "I've never gotten involved with someone as a captain. As for the fact that it's me….Uhura would be a reliable source of information about that." He said.

He wasn't sure if it was a totally good idea to list Uhura as his character reference, even if they had become friends, good friends, recently. Not if he wanted to get laid anyway. But he wanted Maddie to know the truth about what she was getting herself into and he trusted Uhura to at least be fair, even brutally so. He would just have to trust that old adage that the heart wants what the heart wants. Or in this case the hypothalamus wants what the hypothalamus wants; she didn't know him very well after all.

She closed her eyes and ground out, "Well good idea or not I think I do want to have dinner with you tomorrow."

"Hey Maddie, I wasn't kidding before. We can just talk if you want. Christ, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want."

"No, I know. It's just I'm not…I'm not used to…I'm not used to how blunt Star Fleet trains you to be." She said.

He had to smile at that. "I think I should return to my quarters." He said.

"Yes, that's probably a good idea."

She walked him to the door and he let himself give her another passionate kiss. It wasn't a good idea, it was going to make going to sleep much more difficult, but he found he couldn't resist when she leaned back against the wall next to the door and looked up at him in that way that let him know she wanted one. He stepped close and put his hand on her waist and she tilted her head up to meet his lips. She put her hand in his hair and pulled him deeper into the kiss. When he pulled back she whispered, "I wish you would stay the night."

He almost growled in frustration. He wanted to push her back toward the bed and teach her to tease him like that. He'd never regretted becoming more mature more than that exact moment. He'd never regretted becoming captain before. The old James Kirk would have pushed her hard against the wall and ripped the buttons on her blouse as he took it off. But Captain James Kirk knew that he was already pushing it by kissing her like this. He said, "I can't Maddie. Tomorrow night. I can stay tomorrow night."

But as he stepped out in the hall he found he doubted he would be spending the next night with her. Whatever her hormones said; whatever she wanted after three glasses of wine, a girl like Maddie Sparrow wasn't going to go for someone like him. She would have let him sleep with her tonight, that was clear, but in the morning she would have remembered that girls who can distinguish wine vintages, wear pearls to work and learned to drive in brand new sports cars don't date Iowa farm boys with juvenile records, a problem with authority and a fear of commitment. He tried to resent and hate her for it but he kept thinking about that vid-photo of her and that little girl and the open, trusting way she smiled into the camera and winked. If tomorrow morning she decided she was too good for him, he couldn't quite bring himself to disagree.

**Author's Note: Ewwwwww, gross! It's the icky "feelings" chapter! Sorry if you hated all the gooey emotional stuff but never fear…the next chapter will get back to the ass kicking, I promise. Well what do you think of Maddie? Is Kirk in character? Are Spock and Uhura? Is the story interesting? Please tell me in a review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note: Soooooo? What do you guys think so far? Please, please, please review (nothing makes me happier). I'm also thinking about making the next chapter rated M. What do you think? Should I? Shouldn't I?**

**Chapter 4—A Long Run**

The next morning she was in a good mood but so jittery and stimulated, she could barely focus on anything. She was a little better in the kitchen. With something else to focus on she was able to forget, for a few minutes at a time, the feeling of Jim Kirk's arm locked around her waist and the sound of his voice when he spoke just after he'd kissed her, which was slightly deeper than usual, like he'd just woken up from a deep sleep.

She kept wondering what he was doing just then and if he was thinking as much as she was about the night before. She felt like she could feel him moving around the ship and she felt like at any minute he could come into the kitchen, and she wouldn't handle it well.

She couldn't find Uhura at breakfast so she couldn't talk to her about it, but she didn't look very hard for her in the cafeteria. Maddie had already made up her mind about what she was going to do and she didn't want Uhura to try to talk her out of it. And what new information was Uhura going to give her anyway? That Jim was a bit of a womanizer? Maddie could tell that just by the way he looked at her and other women on the ship. That even if they were sleeping together and going on dates, he was not going to be her 'boyfriend' in his mind? She knew that too already. All she wanted from Uhura was some advice about how to proceed with the relationship so that when he inevitably did break it off with her they could still be friends. And that she could get once she'd already pulled the trigger with him.

The shift was supposed to change a lunch but she called the cooks together about an hour before to tell the old they would need to stay on for six extra hours. "We will be arriving at Rivas today and that means that we will be cooking dinner for the ambassadors and the Riverii government tonight. I know that everyone will probably want to help with…"

"Is that what you and Captain Kirk talking about last night in your quarters?" Tom asked loudly.

The tone he said it in made the people around them stop what they were doing and pay attention. Fear shot through Maddie like wildfire. Tom was in no way afraid of making a scene and she could tell by the edge in his voice, he was really mad. "Everyone will please hold questions until the end of the briefing." She said as firmly as she could.

"He looked pretty happy with whatever you said when I passed him in the hall coming out of your room. What time was that? Close to ten?" Tom pressed on, ignoring her.

Maddie could tell that she was blushing scarlet. Her cheeks felt like they were on fire. The kitchen was totally silent now as they watched the unfolding scene. "I don't see how that is relevant Shelly…" She began again.

"Is he fucking you?" Tom cut her off again.

"That is enough Tom!" She shouted. She continued at a lower volume but with the same anger still clear in her voice, "Chef you are relieved from duty for the next shift. Return to your quarters until further notice."

"That sounds like a 'yes' Maddie." Tom said, with a painfully mean grin.

"Your quarters Tom!"

When Tom was gone, Maddie could hear her heart pounding angrily against her chest. There was almost no other sound in the kitchen except the sound of something frying in a pan. She put her hand over her eyes and counted to three. When she looked back up her face was set. "I was saying that I know that everyone will probably want to help with the banquet dinner but I need…" She continued.

Life sprang back into the kitchen and everyone was on his or her best behavior but the morning was ruined for Maddie. She'd woken up in the best she'd mood she'd had in as long as she could remember. She'd been excited to have dinner with Kirk and see what came next but now that felt ruined. The giddy, alive feeling she'd woken up with had twisted in her gut into a leaden weight. She knew that had been Tom's goal but it didn't change anything.

She was in the storage room looking at the preserves they had and wondering if she had enough truffles for the official dinner, when his voice came over the com. She was glad she was alone because she nearly jumped out of her skin. The sound of his voice, after so much anticipation, made her skin prickle deliciously. "This is the Captain speaking," he said, "we will be arriving at the planet Rivas in approximately ten minutes. The diplomatic away team will rendezvous in the transporter rooms at that time."

And she was still in the storage room and her heart was still racing from hearing his voice when the shock of the first impact hit. It was hard enough to throw her off her feet and send a rack of wine in the back toppling to the floor. She was less stunned than the first time though. She pushed herself up to her feet and ran down the hall to the kitchen, feet pounding the carpet hard along the way.

"Red alert. All crew to battle stations." Kirk's voice over the com barked.

In the kitchen someone was screaming over the keening red alert siren. The Ensigns who had been on duty had already scattered to their battle stations. There was a huge smearing spill of sauce that looked like thick blood across the floor. One of the cooks had already slipped in it in the commotion. She pulled him roughly to his feet and barked, "you're fine Johnson. Shake it off."

There was another blast and they were both thrown off their feet again as dishes came sliding out of their cupboards and shattered across the floor. She scrambled back up and shouted, "Okay everyone out of the kitchen right now. Walk, don't run."

She was surprised that she didn't sound hysterical. Quite the reverse: her voice actually had that ring of command to it that made Sandy, the chef who had been screaming, stop and everyone file quickly out. In the hall though they were blocking the corridor from the personnel that was rushing to get through. "Okay, everyone get in single file line. We're going to the dinning room until we're ordered to do otherwise."

It wasn't ideal she knew— there was nowhere to strap themselves in—but there wasn't a place for them to go really and at least there weren't a lot of things in the dinning room that could fall on them and the tables were bolted to the floor. If things got much worse she'd have them get under the tables.

"What the fuck is going on?" Someone asked.

Maddie shook her head. "We're under attack. The crew is well trained. We'll be just fine, just like the last time."

They sat together for some time after that in almost total silence. Sometimes the ship rocked under fire so hard they thought it was on the verge of cracking under their feet and sometimes there were periods of what felt like relative calm. Maddie was so scared she couldn't feel her body and it was torturous not to be able to do anything, not to even know what was happening really. But she remembered that moment on the bridge when Jim had asked so low that no one else could hear how much damage he thought the ship would take in the final gambit. And the low, quiet voice he had accepted the bad news with. She tried to accept her own situation with the same calm readiness.

And then the red alert alarm changed to a different droning keen and the sort of neutered but feminine voice who had been chanting 'red alert…red alert' began to say something new: 'intruder alert…intruder alert.'

"Fuuuuuuuuuuck." Jade, the chef nearest Maddy, said low and long under his breath.

Maddie tended to agree. "The door to the dining room won't open unless you have a com button on." She said firmly.

At that moment the dinning room door did slide open and all the chefs looked apprehensively towards it. She'd never been more pleased to see Carrow. She noticed that he'd clipped a phaser to his belt. She wondered if that should make her feel more or less safe.

"We've evacuating non-essentials to the planet surface. Follow me." He said.

She helped him line the chefs up and listened to his instructions but out in the hall she turned to go the wrong way at the second hall.

"Where you going Chef?" Carrow asked.

"I have to get one of my chefs. He's in his room. We'll meet you at the escape pods as soon as we can."

He shook his head. "No time I'm afraid. We need to get you all to the escape pods as soon as possible. Someone else will evacuate your friend."

Maddie shook her head. "I can't just leave him there." She said.

"I'm afraid so." Carrow took her by the upper arm and started to hurry her back along the corridor. Maddie tried to twist her arm out but Carrow, usually so sweet, only resettled his grip hard enough she was sure she'd have a bruise in the morning. But just then there was another rocking explosion and the ship pitched them both to the ground.

Maddie recovered first and she was on her feet sprinting up the hall before Carrow even knew what had happened. "Get the others to safety. I'll meet you guys at the escape pods." She shouted behind her.

At Tom's room she banged roughly on the door and Tom opened it after a moment. "Come to apologize?" He asked snidely, though his face was pale with fear and his voice trembled a little bit.

"They're evacuating us. Come on. Let's go."

"I'm not going out there if there's an intruder onboard!" Tom said.

"Calm down Tom, we'll be fine. We just need to get to the escape pods."

"You don't know what you're talking about!" He sounded slightly hysterical now.

"Well I'm the only person whose coming for you so let's go." She said.

He considered for a moment and then said, "okay."

"Great. Give me two seconds to get April." She said, dashing back to her room.

"Fuck your cat Maddie. If we're going to go, let's go."

"Two seconds Tom!"

Her room was a mess. The bookcases were toppled and the rest of the ambassadorial china was in pieces on her kitchen floor. She knew exactly where April would be: where he always hid form her when she was trying to give him a bath. She snatched up the carrying case from her bedroom and flung herself down in front of couches and shot her hand back to where he'd wedged himself into a little nook between the wall and the couch. He bit and scratched her pretty good but it didn't feel painful: her veins were pumping too much adrenaline. She felt the sensation of his claws tearing her skin with none of the shock or hurt. She pulled him out roughly by one paw as he yowled in protest and she stuffed him into the container.

Back out in the main body of the ship they ran along several corridors and Maddie began to notice that they were the only people in sight. There was an eerie silence in the halls broken only when the sounds of battle got close enough to make the ship rumble. Even April had stopped yowling in his container. He was a predator but he knew when it paid to be quiet too. Tom's breath and her own heartbeat seemed to fill Maddie's ears but her brain wasn't filled with panic: only a focused, hot energy. They slowed unconsciously as they approached the last corridor before the escape pods but they both knew before they even rounded the corner that the escape pods were gone. It was too quite.

"What the fuck. What the fuck. What the fuck." Tom was mumbling hysterically. She could tell he was starting to flat out panic.

"Tom get a grip on yourself." She said.

"Get a grip on myself? Get a grip on myself?" He began to repeat, his voice getting louder. "We're trapped on this fucking ship with no fucking way out and you want me to 'get a grip on myself?'"

His voice got higher and higher as he spoke.

She glared at him. "Yeah Tom. Shut up and get a grip on yourself. We're going to the bridge. The bridge crew will evacuate last and they'll know what to do."

"Oh right…if I were an intruder I would be nowhere near the bridge at a time like this." Tom said. His sarcasm sounded silly in his high, terrified voice.

"Well if you've got a better plan. Now is the time." She said roughly. "If not buckle up, shut up and follow me."

They walked as quietly and quickly as they could through the hallways that now felt filling will palpable fear to them. It was only about five minutes but it seemed to stretch on and on as they walked and listened for footsteps other than their own. They were two corridors down from the bridge when they heard sounds. She gestured for Tom to get against the wall as she did the same. She could hear two voices speaking a rough, coarse language she couldn't understand down the hall. They didn't need to go down that hall but they had to walk across it and into view of the intruders to get to the turbolift to the bridge. God they were so close they could see it.

She slid down the wall and peaked around the corner. She'd read in a book when she was a kid that you're less likely to be spotted if you peak around the corner low down. People don't look for faces there.

Two enormous Klingons were standing talking at the end of the hall. One was holding something about the size of an axe with a wicked, blue-steel blade. She shuddered as she imagined vividly how it would feel being rammed into her guts. Every animal instinct she had was telling her to just run for the turbolift as hard as she could but they weren't that far down the hallway and with an enormous effort she mastered herself. She gestured for Tom to get ready to run but to stay put until she signaled.

She couldn't have waited there for more than a minute while she watched the two Klingons talk but it felt like an eternity. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest. It wasn't even beating that fast anymore. It was beating like a cannon though and she was almost surprised they couldn't hear it.

Finally they turned and began to walk further down the hall and she gestured for Tom to start crawling across the floor to the turbo lift. Once they'd cross they stood and ran silently into the lift. On the floor was the body of some Ensign. Tom screamed when he saw the body and she could hear the Klingons down the hall raise their voices and then there were fast footsteps approaching.

She hit the button for the bridge and the same female voice that had announced the intruders said, "service to the bridge has been turned off during the attack." She could see the Klingons now as they rounded the corner into the hall and she stared them full in the face for a second, stunned. Then she wildly hit the button for the level next to the bridge and then stopped it before the door opened. She held down the emergency stop button with all her force.

"Holy God." She choked out, almost coughing. She couldn't feel her legs and she wondered suddenly if she'd peed her pants. She had to look down to see that she hadn't.

Tom said nothing. He seemed to be catatonic with fear.

She tapped her com and temporized. She wanted to call Kirk. There was no one else in the world she could think of she trusted more to get her out of this jam and on an even more primal level she wanted to hear his voice. It would be so nice to let someone else be afraid for her so she could just sit and wait for whatever happened next. Somehow in that moment even if he couldn't help them, if they couldn't get to the bridge and died in this elevator, it seemed preferable to the choking fear of responsibility. An insane part of her wanted to just stop struggling and let either Jim save them or the current drag them under without a fight.

But then there was her pride too and that came knifing through her unexpectedly where her willpower had failed. Even if she was that weak, she didn't have to let it show. "Madeline Sparrow to Lieutenant Uhura." She said.

For a moment there was a dreadful silence then Uhura's voice answered, sounding shocked and confused. "Maddie? What are you doing still aboard?"

"It's complicate." Maddie said shortly. "I'm in turbolift five with another cook. Service to the bridge has been cut off. Can you authorize it?"

"No but there's a manual hatch you can crawl up and I can open that." Uhura said.

"Okay. How do we do that?" She asked.

"You need to open the hatch at the top and then climb out on top of the lift. There will be a ladder you can climb up to the bridge."

"Tom come here and hold down this button." She said. She had to repeat it but Tom finally came over and jammed his thumb down onto the hold button. She looked up and found that there was a small wheel that looked like it could open part of the ceiling up

"You're going to need either the engineering password of a phaser for that lock." Uhura said. "Let me see if I can you the password."

Maddie went and checked over the body of the dead Ensign. She rolled it over and breathed out. It was Ensign Su, a young girl of about twenty who had been flirting for weeks with one of the pastry chefs. She hoped she wouldn't be the one who had to tell Davis, who was only nineteen himself, she was dead. She swallowed hard and unclipped the phaser from her belt. "Got a phaser." She said.

"Great. No one in engineering is responding." Uhura said. "Blast the lock."

She had to take three shots but finally she managed to get the hatch to open. She climbed up. It was about a story of a climb to the hatch she could see on the next level. She hoped that was the hatch Uhura would open for her. "Got it open." She said.

"You'll have about thirty seconds once you take your thumb off the hold button before the lift starts to move so make it quick okay?" Uhura said. "I'm coming to open the hatch now.

She had Tom climb out first with the carrying case and April and get on the ladder while she held the stop button down. There was a scraping noise as the hatch was pulled back and Uhura's face was visible at the top of the climb. She let go of button and scrambled out on top of the turbolift. Her arms were weak with fatigue and fear and for a moment she dangled in the lift, unable to pull herself all the way out. She thought she was going to fall back into the lift as she over balanced backward slightly. "Maddie come on. Put some muscle into that." Uhura's voice shouted down at her.

She knew by the tone of the other woman's voice what she was thinking. If she had to, Uhura would close the hatch with Maddie still in the lift shaft to save the bridge. She managed to throw herself forward for a better handhold and then wriggle her body out on top. The lift jerked underneath her and she scrambled up and jumped for the ladder just as the lift shot down beneath her.

"Climb!" Uhura's voice commanded and she climbed for all her might. At the top Uhura grabbed her by the back of her shirt and pulled her roughly up the last few rungs. Then she slammed the hatch down and sealed it again.

The bridge seemed to be an explosion of movement and sound after the long silent run through the halls. Out of the rumble of noises though, Maddie could hear Jim's voice clearly. "…after a full cease fire has been granted and your boarding party has been pulled back from my ship. There are no other terms without that."

On the big screen was a view of another Klingon, even bigger than the ones in the hall, though perhaps it was simply his armor, which was gruesome and fierce. He opened his mouth and sneered, "The Empire does not negotiate for the lives of a few paltry warriors. They will die gladly and with honor."

"Understood. Lieutenant Spock will you please disengage the saucer section of the Enterprise and begin the countdown to self-destruct." He turned around to address Spock and his eyes met hers as she stood by the turbolift. For a moment he seemed confused, and then some emotion she couldn't quite name flared up in his eyes. It could have been anger or it could have been something else. He hesitated for an imperceptible fraction of a second then seemed to shake himself back to the present. "Have Mr. Scot extend the ships shields around the section until three seconds before the explosion so the Klingon away teams cannot beam back to their ships please."

"You will not destroy your ship just to kill my men." The Klingon on the view screen sneered.

"Would you bet on that?" Kirk said.

"Your men will be stranded on Rivas."

"Captain the auto destruct has been engaged. Two minutes remain." Spock said, stepping forward and speaking clearly enough that the Klingon was sure to hear.

For a moment the Captain and the second in command stared unblinkingly into the view screen. Then Kirk said, "from the way you were holding back during the beginning of the attack I have to say I don't think you were expecting such a fight from us Commodore." He was grinning now. "I think you were hoping to take the Enterprise as a prize. How much of your crew did you beam over to the saucer section Commodore? The Klingon high command isn't going to be happy to hear that you wasted most of your invasion force just on one paltry ship."

"You have less than four hundred in your crew and they aren't soldiers like mine Kirk. You have enough diplomats but you don't have enough people who know how to draw blood." The other man snarled. "You had a tactical advantage when you had a star ship Kirk but if you try to fight us hand-to-hand, on the surface…you will fall like children before our blades."

Kirk was still smiling, though to Maddie it didn't quite look genuine. "Well let's find out shall we?" He said. "Mr. Chekov cut the com. Mr. Sulu ahead warp factor five please."

Maddie pushed Tom hard towards two free seats that were located along the wall. "Buckle in hard Tom." She said, throwing herself into the other one. Tom managed to get his belt on but Maddie was struggling to keep a grip on April's carrying case and had only gotten one arm into the straps when the shock of impact hit hard. She was jerked forward hard and pain exploded across her shoulder. It took her breath away how much it hurt and she let out a little scream of pain. But she kept her wits about her and scrambled to get her belt fastened still. She never knew how she managed it but somehow she did.

"Status report Mr. Chekov."

"Two more Klingon ships have been destroyed sir and we are clear of the armada. Shields are down Captain but no hull breaches."

"Is the helm still responsive Sulu?"

"Left side thrusters have been damaged sir."

"Can you take us down?"

"Trying to sir."

Spock later explained that there had been three distinct impacts after that. The first was when they hit the atmosphere of Rivas and the ship jerked as it entered the denser gas. The second had been when they hit the dense tree canopy and punched through it. The third was when they hit the ground of the swamp. All Maddie remembered was a haze of pain because each time the ship bounced another blinding pain shot up her arm though she gritted her teeth against crying out.

She might have passed out from the pain because the next thing she knew Kirk was in front of her and his face seemed to fill her vision. She realized that the ship had finally stopped moving. He was pulling at her straps, which were a tangled mess. "Is anyone hurt? Are there any other casualties?" He called out. His voice was harder than she'd ever heard it before.

"No Captain I don't think so." Spock said.

_Other_ casualties? Was she dead? She wondered distantly. If this was death, it wasn't so bad. "I don't think I'm dead Jim." She said dreamily.

"Your shoulder is dislocated but you'll live." He said with a grim smile. "I'm talking about your friend."

She turned to look at Tom and for a moment she didn't understand what she was seeing. Tom's neck was twisted grotesquely to the left and his eyes were closed but he was so contorted he didn't look human with his head dangling off his neck like that. She was still tangled in her straps and she struggled against them, making pain shoot through her arm again bad enough that she screamed out in agony. The scream turned into big racking sobs as the pain subsided. "Tom! Tom! Tom!" She grabbed his shoulder with the arm that was closest to him, the uninjured one and began to try to shake him awake.

Jim reached for her straps again finally got them off of her. He pulled her to her feet and pushed her toward Uhura. "Uhura take care of this." He ordered. "Get her calmed down and keep her out of the way."

The other woman put an arm under Maddie's good shoulder and Maddie let her get her to the other side of the bridge where there was an emergency medical kit. Uhura was careful as she set Maddie down under the medical kit and pulled it down off the wall. Maddie was still sobbing uncontrollably, though almost silently. She didn't have any breath left in her lungs though she seemed to be trying to force it all out and all the blood in her body to her head.

Uhura pushed Maddie's shirt over her shoulder and waved a scanner over the area, which was already purpling impressively with a mass of bruises. "You've dislocated your shoulder pretty bad Maddie." She said. "I'm going to pop it back in three…two…one."

Stars exploded once again across Maddie's vision as Uhura wrenched her arm sharply forward. There was a hideous grinding squelch as the joint popped back together but Maddie herself managed only a shocked moan that turned into a whimper. She was hyperventilating now and didn't have enough breath to scream. "Good girl." Uhura said simply as she waved the scanner over the area again. "I'm going to bandage it so it won't pop out again. Match your breathing to my breathing as I do."

Maddie realized that she was breathing fast and high in her chest. Uhura on the other hand was taking slow, even breaths that took twice as long to exhale as they did to inhale. It was difficult to do be she was still sobbing but Maddie tried. At first it was rough, punctuated with big heaving sobs, but very slowly she found that the panic was seeping out of her like an ebbing tide. She became more aware of her body and her surroundings. She began to sob only irregularly and began to hiccup softly. "Good girl." Uhura cooed.

Tentatively, she experimented with moving her arm around in her shoulder. It ached badly but the blinding pain was gone and she could, in fact, move it. "Thanks Uhura." She whispered hoarsely.

Uhura looked up from bandaging her hand. "For a civilian you wind up on the battle bridge quite a bit." She said with a grin.

Maddie laughed a little, hysterical, post-tears laugh at that. "Just lucky I guess."

"I'll say you're lucky." Uhura said. "You'll drink free in any Star Fleet bar for the rest of your life on this story."

"Your first round is on me for the rest of your life if you don't tell anyone I cried." Maddie replied, running a hand through her hair and choking down the sob in her voice with a hiccup.

Uhura faked a look of confusion. "We don't cry on the battle bridge." She said firmly. "I don't remember that happening. Now we can get you a sedative or a task, which do you want?"

Maddie swallowed. "Task."

"That's the spirit."

Rivas was class M so the crew had popped an emergency hatch and crawled out onto the top of the battle bridge to get better reception for their transceivers. They had set out a circle of flares that Kirk, Spock and most of the crew stood in. Maddie could see the edge where the two men she thought she'd heard Kirk call Chekov and Sulu were standing with two flares. But further than that she could see nothing. The pitch black beyond their lights was total and she shivered involuntarily as she stared into it, wondering who or what might be staring back.

She realized, finally what had happened to the ship. Jim had separated the long, flat disk section from the Enterprise when he'd realized that they wouldn't be able to fight them off and then blown it up with the Klingons aboard. He'd saved the core of the ship: the engines, sick bay, engineering and the bridge. They were standing on the flat top that usually was pressed tight against the disk section.

When Kirk saw her, and that she'd calmed down, he broke off from the group and walked over to her. To Uhura he said, "Spock will brief you on what comes next." Maddie he took by the upper arm and pulled a little farther from the group. "Are you okay?" He asked.

She nodded. "Fine." She tried to sound as firm and steady as she could though she was aware that her voice was raspy from the tears and that her eyes were still red and puffy.

"How did you wind up on the bridge Maddie?" His tone was gentle. She was glad he wasn't mad at her.

"Uhura let me in through the emergency hatch."

"No… I mean why didn't you evacuate? You were supposed to be in the diplomatic group."

"Tom…the…the other chef who was with me," she managed not to tear up again but it was a near thing, "was in his room during the attack and didn't know to evacuate so I went to get him. By the time we got down to the escape pods they were all gone so we came here. Please don't be angry with me Jim."

"I'm not angry with you." Jim said. "That was a very brave thing you did."

"It wasn't enough though…" She said, shuddering a little involuntarily.

He bit his lip. "Listen, I know you aren't going to like this but we're going to have to leave you here for a couple of days, maybe a week." He said.

"What? Why?" She demanded, unable to keep the panic from her voice. They couldn't leave her on this crashed ship in the middle of a pitch-black swamp with only Tom's body to keep her company. She'd go insane; she knew she would.

"You're going to be fine Maddie." Jim said firmly. "We're going to sweep the ship for enemy combatants before we go and we'll send a transport back for you as soon as we can. You're going to be fine. There are enough emergency rations and flares onboard to last you a couple of months."

"Why?" She repeated, perhaps a little petulantly.

He frowned. "Most of the escape pods landed about twenty-five clicks from here, just outside the major Riverii city on this hemisphere." Kirk said. "We're going to run the distance and we can't have you slowing us down. I'm sorry. I'd like to leave someone here with you but these are my best people and I can't spare any of them."

She was glad she hadn't let Uhura sedate her. "Jim I can run that." She said.

He shook his head. "We're going to be covering it in seven hours doing two hours on with fifteen minute breaks in between."

"I run the San Francisco 30K every year. Last year I was in the first group. I can keep up, I swear I can." She said, trying not to sound like she was pleading.

He looked at her for a long time. She was too numb with adrenaline and stress to feel anything she usually felt when he looked at her. She couldn't feel her legs or anything else except a dull throb in her shoulder, and even that was distant. She met his eyes without hesitation.

Finally he said, "I'm sorry Maddie but I have to let Spock decide. Tell Spock that for the duration of the crisis you're under his command."

For a moment Maddie thought that she was going to start crying again. If Jim, Jim with all his human emotion and soft kisses, wouldn't take her with him, she had no hope of convincing Spock. The tears rose in her throat and she screwed up her mouth as a lump rose in her throat but she was still looking at Jim's face and now his mouth was set in a hard line like a man who is trying not to scream in pain. He'd just lost his ship and his crew was scattered on an alien planet and he was still in control of himself, but just barely. He had set himself to endure the pain of a mission gone awry but he didn't need her to start crying.

Pride again knifed down through her like lightening it was so unexpected. What she didn't have in bravery or experience she could make up for with pride alone if she had to. She could sob alone in the empty ship once the others were gone but she promised herself she wouldn't let them see her start. Wouldn't let _him_ see her start.

She murmured, "Okay Jim. I'll go ask Spock if I can come. Just don't have too much fun without me."

He let out a short bark of a laugh. "I'll try not to do that." And then he went back below.

It took her a moment to get the Vulcan's attention. The group to scout the ship had gone below while she and Jim were talking and he'd walked to the edge of the ship where Chekov and Sulu were working on attaching ropes to the side of the hull that could be used to get down off the top of the ship.

"Yes what is it Miss Sparrow?" He asked after a moment of her standing patiently.

"Can I speak to you privately Mr. Spock?" They stepped away from the two crewmen and she blurted out, "Jim says that you have to make decisions about me for the rest of the crisis….because…well…because…."

"I understood that you were to remain behind. That seems to render the question of further decision a moot point." The Vulcan said evenly.

"I want to come with you on the run." She said. "I'm in good shape. I run every day and I do the San Francisco 30K every year in under eight hours."

"Miss Sparrow we are going to be running over rough terrain in conditions not unlike those of an earth tropical rain forest. You are clearly in a heightened emotional state and you have just suffered a not insignificant injury." Spock said coolly.

She gritted her teeth. "I can do this." She said.

He considered her for a second and then said. "I therefore recommend that you eat and drink something before we depart in an hours time. I also suggest that you find a spare uniform aboard the ship as your clothes are unsuitable for such an extended period of exercise."

"I can come?" Her mouth almost fell open.

"If you say that you can do this, I have no reason to believe you would deceive me Miss Sparrow." Spock said. "Additionally, I do not wish to waste valuable man power in the middle of battle preparations coming back for you."

Unable to help herself, she fell forward and gave the Vulcan a tight hug around his waist. "Thank you Spock." She said, elated.

Spock frowned. "I do not wish to deceive you Miss Sparrow, therefore I must point out that I do not consider myself doing you a favor; quite the opposite in fact. We are running towards one of the biggest cities of a civilization that is on the brink of invasion. You would be much safer remaining here aboard the ship.

"However if you feel capable of making it to the city with us, sending a transport or group of people back to get you would be an unnecessary expenditure of time and energy in the middle of preparing for an invasion. The Captain's emotions tell him to leave you on the ship but it is not the logical choice."

She nodded. "That doesn't change anything. Thank you Spock." She said.

She had some emergency rations and a lot of high-sugar, high-electrolyte drink packets that she stirred into water and choked down. The emergency rations tasted like slightly rotten bananas and beef broth but had the consistency of bread. The water packets tasted like cranberries and chemicals but she felt much better after she'd eaten. Her body began to feel less like it was sitting in a tub of ice water and her adrenaline headache began to subside.

She found a uniform and a pair of shoes that fit her well enough in the emergency supplies and she changed into that in Captain's ready room. She sedated April and put him into stasis until they recovered the ship. She petted the sleeping cat's fur a little bit before closing the lid on it. Tom's body had also been put into stasis but she tried not to look at that and she found that she managed okay. She didn't know how she was going to explain what had happened to Tom to his mother. She knew if she thought about that she'd come apart at the seams so she just didn't think about it. "I'll be back in a little while for both of you." She said as she closed the hatch.

Then she went and sat on the battle bridge and tried not to think about everything that had happened and everything that was coming next. Everyone else was down below sweeping the ship for Klingons who had made it aboard and in the stillness she tried not to imagine what it would have been like to be trapped on this ship for a week alone. She shivered a little at that thought, despite the fact that the air seeping in from the open hatch was muggy.

Slowly the rest of the crew came up. Spock came up first. "You are prepared?" He asked.

She nodded. He gave her a small backpack with about three liters of water and the cranberry flavored mix that she could drink from as she ran through a small tube that came up over her shoulder. He also gave her a pair of the night-vision goggles they would be using to run over the rough terrain in the dark and taught her how to switch them on and adjust the brightness of what she saw.

Then he took up on the hull and showed her how to use the ropes that Sulu, Chekov and he had rigged earlier. It was a simple belt harness that was worked with another rope on a pulley. When he pointed into the abyssal darkness and told her to back off the ship into it she shuddered involuntarily but did it without complaint. She went a little too fast at first, wanting to sensation of dangling, vulnerable in the dark by a little harness, and Spock shouted for her to go slower so she wouldn't twist an ankle on impact. He himself did it in two long almost free-fall intervals that took less than a fifth the time she'd taken.

"My bones are much more resilient than yours Miss Sparrow." He said when she shot him a look when he landed with an audible 'whump'. He adjusted her backpack slightly and said, "In the event of an attack of any kind while we are running you are to take cover until the fight is over." He said.

Sulu and Chekov were already on the ground and Sulu leaned forward. "Do you know what good cover looks like?"

She shook her head.

"In this environment the best cover looks like the roots of a tree. In general it looks like anything you can put your back to that's too thin for a phaser to penetrate."

She nodded her understanding.

"Where do you think the best cover is here?" Chekov asked.

She looked around and pointed to a rotten log about two feet away. "I'm afraid not." Spock said. "A phaser would be more than equal to the task of cutting through that."

"Where's the best cover then?" She asked. The three of them pointed to the edge of the base of the Enterprise which was only about four feet away and she laughed. "Okay, fair."

Soon the rest of the crew had assembled at the foot of the ship, except for Jim. There were seven of them on the ground then: Spock, Uhura, Sulu, Chekov, two men whose names she didn't know and her. Spock and Uhura stood together and she noticed that the Vulcan had put his hand into Nyota's. She in turn was leaning against him, just slightly, and had put her head on his shoulder. It was such a sweet, innocent gesture and yet it seemed so intimate coming from a man who displayed so little emotion, Maddie looked away out of respect.

"Where is the Captain?" She asked Sulu.

"He's rigging the ship to self-destruct if someone comes aboard without observing proper protocol for turning it off." Sulu said. "Only he can know what the protocol is."

"Why?" She asked.

"In case we're captured." Sulu said.

Maddie realized that he really meant, in case of torture. She felt suddenly ashamed for having asked and she tried not to think about it. She guessed that meant that Jim was presumed to be willing to be tortured to death rather than give up his ship's secrets. She didn't want to know for sure.

When Jim came down they pulled down the ropes and tossed them into the swamp. He didn't give them a pep talk before they left, only instructions. "Okay. I'm on point and I set the pace. Then Sulu and Uhura. Then Chekov and Sparrow. Then Davis and Markus. Spock you're the last one through. Two hour runs with fifteen-minute breaks. Understood?"

"Yes Captain." They said as one.

"Yes Captain." She repeated them.

The pace Jim set through the swamp felt slow at first to Maddie. She wondered why they didn't push harder but by hour four, she knew. They didn't slow up as time passed and he stuck to the schedule he'd set rigidly. At the fourth hour she began to notice that her shoes were heavy with water and she began to focus on the monotonous slapping sound they made against the peat of the bog. But then her shoulder began to ache again and that was all she could think about.

By hour six she'd begun to hallucinate that there were spiders under her skin that were crawling around in the joint of her shoulder. Sometimes they would bite her if she chose her footing wrong and bounced her shoulder particularly hard. Mostly though they just crawled around in her joint, which was maddening. Even though she told herself they weren't real, she caught herself worrying that they would get out of her shoulder and crawl around the rest of her body.

At hour seven she was having trouble remembering that at some point they would arrive at the city and she could stop running. When they did finally arrive at the edge of the city she was fully convinced that she'd just start to hallucinate more seriously. They were stopped at the edge of a tree by a group of Riverii guards.

Behind the Riverii she could see a huge swath of land had been cleared away and then the city beyond suspended thousands of feet aloft by the enormous towering trees. It was a whole modern city, the size of the biggest ones on earth, all built into the canopy of the trees. In her night vision goggles it glowed bright green against the dark infinite green of space. She was pretty sure none of it was real.

She could see that Jim was talking to them and she could hear sounds but she couldn't bring herself to interpret the sounds as words. Uhura said something to her and she nodded but to what she'd just agreed, she had no idea. She considered sitting down but she knew she wouldn't get up if she did.

They were taken across the clearing and shown to the base of one of the trees were something like a turbolift took them into the tops of the trees. She was in that dangerous place past all desire. She didn't want to sleep, eat or drink anything. She didn't want to exist but she couldn't bring herself to particularly not want to exist either. She looked at the incredible city around her with perfect indifference.

At the top of the turbolift they were put in something like a car: a sphere that rolled along tracks in the city's streets. The inside was designed to slide against the outer part without friction so they remained vertical as the sphere rolled. There was a Riverii diver who piloted by sense of sound (there were no windows and the material was completely opaque).

When they got out the Riverii driver put on his cloak and Maddie was surprised to find that she was blinded in a sea of light. Numbly she took off her night vision goggles. After eight hours of dim green lights being her reality, the riot of colors in the soft warm lights of human camp seemed stunning and almost painfully bright. She stood and stumbled as she got off the transport vessel. And then there was someone asking her a direct question. "What?" She asked.

Sound seemed to rush back.

"Are you capable of walking to the medical area?"

"Yes." She said.

"Jesus Jim you can't do this to civilians." Bones said.

She couldn't see Kirk but she heard his voice behind her. "Casualty report Bones." He said.

"Five pods shot down in the evacuation and one more crash landing. Fourteen dead in total. About eight seriously injured." Bones said.

"Status report."

"The ambassadors are up at something like the capitol building, meeting with the Riverii about an alliance between the Federation and the United Riverii Government. We've mostly been dealing with regrouping and preparing for the invasion. Whether or not there's agreement on the deal they're making up at the capitol we think is going to make very little difference to the Klingons." Bones said.

"When do the Riverii say the invasion will arrive?"

"They won't tell us Jim." Bones said, shaking his head. "Both the ambassadors and the Riverii government has refused to tell us."  
"Rogers won't tell you when the invasion force is arriving?" Maddie swallowed hard in her throat. She'd never heard Jim sound so mad or so dangerous, though he hadn't raised his voice at all.

"I know Jim, it's been crazy down here. I'm the chief medical officer and I've been the highest-ranking officer for almost nine hours now. I'm doing my best to set up camp Jim but damn it, I'm a doctor not a captain."

"You're doing great Bones and you're gonna have to keep it up for a little longer. Spock and I are going up to the capitol building." He said.

"What? Why do you both have to go?" Bones asked.

"We'll be back as soon as possible Bones."

"Damn it Jim, you need to come to the medical tent and lie down for a couple of hours at least. You can deal with this when you wake up. Let Spock take over until then." Bones said.

"I'm fine Bones."  
"You just ran for close to eight hours. You need to rest. As ship's medical officer I can order you to come with me to the medical tent."

"If you do I'll never let you win at boxing ever again." Jim said. "I'll fine Bones and I need to take care of this right now. I promise when Spock and I come back from the capitol I'll sleep."

"I should pop you with a tranquilizer right now." Bones growled.

"Take the others to medical. You have the helm Mr. McCoy."

"Yeah, yeah." Bones said.

As they walked through a building that seemed to be nothing but the same endless door repeating itself down endless corridors (she would later learn that this was the sort of hotel the Riverii government had given the Enterprise crew), Bones asked Maddie, "how do you feel?"

"I feel fine." She said numbly.

"Yeah I bet you do." Bones said.

**Author's Note: Soooooo? What do you guys think so far? Please, please, please review (nothing makes me happier). I'm also thinking about making the next chapter rated M. What do you think? Should I? Shouldn't I?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5— Meaning in the Tea Dregs**

Jim Kirk had never wanted sleep more than he did as he and Spock got back into the transport on Rivas and told the driver to take them to the capitol. Even just sitting down was an exquisite relief. "How are you feeling Spock?"

"I am just fine Captain." The Vulcan said.

"Are you fine like I just told Bones that I'm fine or are you really fine?" He asked.

"My endurance point is much higher than a humans. If you are still standing, sir, I am fine." Spock said.

Tired as he was, Jim smiled. That was the Spock he liked. "Spock you know what we're going up to the capitol to do don't you?" He asked.

Spock nodded once. "Yes Captain, I believe I do."

"Are you physically and mentally prepared to do what your Captain orders you to?" Jim asked.

A million little calculations flickered across Spock's face. Then he gave Jim a little smile and said, "absolutely" enunciating each syllable with unmistakable pleasure in his voice.

Jim grinned. "Good."

The Capitol building was five stories built on elegant stone arches about eight feet across at the base, meaning that the building was almost completely open to the dark air. In the city they were too high for rain but the heat was still oppressive and Riverii hearing meant that privacy concerns were a moot point. Lots of the buildings in the city were similarly porous. They found Ambassador Rogers standing in a long corridor, speaking to his Riverii counterparts.

"Ah yes, Captain Kirk. We were informed you were on your way." The Ambassador said as they approached.

"Can we speak somewhere else? In private?" Kirk asked.

The Ambassador seemed taken aback, though it was hard for Jim to get a clear read on his facial expression through the night vision goggles. "Yes of course, gentlemen you will please excuse us for a moment." He gestured to a door down the hall. "Why don't we step in here for a moment?"

"You must understand of course Captain that walls aren't enough to keep secrets on Rivas. By asking to speak to me privately you've only peaked their interest: they can hear us perfectly well. They can even hear what we are doing with our bodies."

Jim ignored that. He didn't much care if they could hear what he was doing through the door. If they couldn't get through the door to stop it, what did it matter? "My chief medical officer said you denied him information pertaining to the Klingon invasion. Is that true?" He asked, letting a little bit of his anger mix with his fatigue to give his voice a dangerous edge.

"Yes, I'm afraid that was a necessary precaution." The Ambassador said, laughing a little bit. "Really Kirk, I am sorry that it's come to…"

That was exactly what Jim wanted to hear. He put his foot firmly against the door and said in a loud voice, "Officer Spock I order you arrests this man for mutinous behavior toward acting-Captain McCoy as described in section 12.03 of Star Fleet regulations. I also order you to interrogate him using the Vulcan mindmeld technique to obtain all information pertaining to the Klingon invasion of Rivas and our mission to Rivas. Immediately."

Spock had placed his hands on the man's face before Jim had even finished speaking. There was a moment where they were together and then Spock stepped away from the Ambassador. "How dare you Kirk…" The ambassador started to splutter.

"Shut up." Kirk said. "Spock, report."

"Captain the Ambassador hasn't disclosed the Klingon invasion date because he isn't sure the invasion hasn't already happened." Spock said quietly.

"What do you mean by that?" Kirk asked. He had no idea what that could possibly mean but he knew that it was going to be really bad, whatever it was.

"I suppose more clearly stated: the Riverii haven't decided who the invading party is: the Federation or the Klingons." Spock said.

"We were invited here." Kirk said flatly. "We were invited her on a diplomatic mission."  
"If the Riverii make a deal with the Klingons they are willing to guarantee the safety of everyone in this city. We will be held as prisoners of war and subsequently turned over to the Federation with no further loss of life or property." Spock explained. "They feel their obligation to us ends there."

"They invited the Klingons too?"  
"No Captain, they did not. They were unaware of the impending Klingon attack. But Riverii culture is much more…forgiving of the idea of switching sides than yours. Whatever is advantageous if admirable, they feel. There is a saying in your culture I believe that says that it is the winner who writes the history books. The Riverii have a similar expression but they see it as an inspiration to win, whatever the cost, rather than a warning to those blindly accept what they read." The Vulcan explained. "They admire brashness and for the Klingons to show up uninvited with an invasion force is quite brash."

"So they're still deciding whose side to fight on?" Kirk said.

"If they decided for the Klingons sir, I'm afraid there won't be much of a fight. We are in their city, surrounded by their guards and with no back up."  
"Why did Rogers order us to push on after the first attack?"

"He had some signs from the Riverii ambassadors that they would be open to settlement with the Klingons. That they were admiring of what the Klingons were doing. He felt that turning around would render hopeless the Federation's hope of making a deal. If not because we would simply be too late than because we would appear too weak in the Riverii's eyes." Spock said. "Additionally he felt that the diplomatic mission was too important to risk, even at the cost of the Enterprise."

That last sentence stuck out to Kirk as particularly strange. Rivas was nice but he wouldn't have rated this mission as critical. "Elaborate Spock." He ordered simply. Forming a more precise question would have been a waste: Spock was usually better suited than he was to decide what information was important and what wasn't.

"The Federation suspects, as does the Klingon Empire I assume, that the Riverii have found a way to move at full warp ten through the pentacryptalene gas." Spock said. "The ship that was found outside the Doldrums had full warp technology but no way of replicating enough food for a long journey. They weren't on a long mission: merely a pleasure cruise."

"Does that mean what I think it means?" Kirk asked, swallowing hard.

"Captain I have no way of discerning…"

"Does that mean that this planet is the perfect place for either the Federation or the Empire to amass a huge armada without the other one knowing about it right in the middle of the neutral zone?"

"Yes."

"Does that mean that the conquest of this planet and its inhabitants are the last thing standing between the Empire and achieving that?"

"Indeed."

"Did Rogers request back up?"

The Ambassador answered that question before Spock could. His voice was cold and crisp with anger. "A Star Fleet armada was signaled to come the day after our first encounter with the Klingons. They will be here in forty hours with a full fleet. That won't do you any good at all however if Riverii decide to side with the Klingons. Rescuing you will be beyond the scope of the armada if the Klingons have taken the surface. Even if the Council were to approve an invasion it would be months and the Klingons would likely be so entrenched on the planet when the invasion force arrived that victory would be hard won if not impossible. Now if you are satisfied Mister Kirk I should like to go back and try to fix the diplomatic catastrophe you are in the process of generating."

Kirk didn't answer right away. He took a moment to access his situation. He had to think and his head was starting to hurt with fatigue. He just wanted to sit down. He checked his watch and realized that he was supposed to be finishing up dinner with Maddie right now. If none of this had happened he wondered what he would be doing. Having her for dessert, he hoped. He imagined himself coming into the kitchen and taking her by the hips and spinning her around to face him, then pressing his lips to hers. He imagined himself sinking himself into her on the bed later and how warm and wet and safe she would feel as he took her on her soft cotton sheets. Though right now, he couldn't kid himself, he wouldn't be capable of any of that really. Still, even just lying on her bed and breathing the air of her room, which smelled so nice, would be such a relief.

But that was all gone now. He'd blown her room up over ten hours ago now.

With an almost superhuman force of will he focused on what Spock had been saying. The Riverii admired brashness did they? Well then, they should like him a lot, he decided, he had that in spades. In the dark of the room he mouthed to Spock, "be brash."

The Vulcan cocked his head quizzically to the side and adjusted the brightness on his goggles so he could make out more detail on Kirk's face.

Kirk mouthed it over again and the Vulcan acknowledged with a curt nod.

"Ambassador Rogers you have criminally overstepped your mandate from Star Fleet." He said. "I will be taking over your position in negotiations and Mr. Spock will escort you to the brig."

Rogers looked stunned. "Just what do you think you're doing?" He hissed.

Kirk ignored him. He stepped out into the hall, followed by Spock, who had taken the Ambassador by the upper arm to control him. "Gentlemen," Kirk addressed the Riverii diplomatic team, "My name is James Tiberius Kirk and I am Captain of the Starship Enterprise. I will be taking over the negotiations on the part of the Federation."

There was a moment where the Riverii diplomats seemed not to know what to say. Then one towards the front of the group stepped forward, "you are not unknown to us James Kirk." He said. "But half of your ship is currently scattered as debris in our sky and the other is crashed in our forest. How can you claim to be the Captain of a Starship?"

"The battle bridge of my ship is intact and my engineering team will be able to repair it in a matter of weeks. My crew is likewise intact. As for the destroyed half of my ship…ask the Klingon commodore you are currently also in negotiations with what he paid in men and ships to see it destroyed."

There was a moment's pause and then Riverii Ambassador laughed. It was hoarse, rattling noise, like bones shaken in a clay jar. "This is a very good answer Captain Kirk. My name is Rjav Rjees. I am the President of Rivas."

Jim nodded. "It is an honor to meet you Mr. President."

"I will have your man escorted to your brig for you." He said, waving his hand. Spock looked to the Jim for a nod before he relinquished his hold on the man's arm.

"Bring him to acting-Captain McCoy and tell him that this man is guilty of mutiny." Jim told the two Riverii guards who stepped up to take charge of the ex-Ambassador. He wondered what Bones would say to that. He made a mental note to ask later.

"Come, follow me. The rest of you are dismissed." Rjav Rjees said to the other Riverii.

Kirk and Spock he showed down the hall and into what looked to be a private office. He sat down in his desk and indicated two chairs for Spock and Jim. "Your previous Ambassador seemed to expect a committee of diplomats so I invited some of the kitchen staff from the building to sit in on my meetings." He laughed loudly at that but his voice became serious rapidly. "You on the other hand…you don't seem to want a show Captain Kirk."

A show was the last thing Kirk wanted just then. A shower was probably the first thing. "No." He said. "I do not want a show."

"Good…good." Rjav said. "May I offer you a drink?"

"Whatever you're having we'll have one each." Kirk said firmly. He hoped it wasn't alcoholic. He wasn't if he would be able to keep it down.

He poured them each some liquid that turned out to be something like a glass of milk. It was very slightly sweeter than milk and it smelled vaguely pungent but it wasn't half bad. Jim felt like he could grow to like it.

"So I will have your proposal now, if you please Captain." The man said when he put his glass down.

"Right now?" Jim asked.

"I understand you would like some time to prepare a strategy. I respect that but frankly Captain, I need to make a decision and you and I are both out of time." He said.

This was it. He was either going to spend some indeterminate number of months being a prisoner of war or he was going to think of something. He tried to think about everything he knew about the Riverii. When his answer came it was so easy he'd almost missed it. "Well okay. Why should you side with the Federation in this conflict? Because we're going to win Sir." Jim said.

"Continue." Rjav said.

"Think about what has just happened in the last twenty-four hours. We showed up at your planet for what we thought was a diplomatic mission. We were out-manned and out-gunned by a superior Klingon fleet that had the element of surprise and who had dictated the terms of the arrangement to suit themselves. We managed to fight them off, critically damaging their armada, and escape to your planets surface with the core of our ship intact. Can you imagine what we could do with a bigger compliment of ships? Can you imagine that the Klingons will be the winning side?"

He took another sip of his drink. "Maybe with your help they win this engagement and the next one …but can you imagine that they will win in the long run?"

Rjav considered. "The Klingons say that you are weak. They say that you will not punish traitors with death for example and that you do not execute warriors who are too crippled to fight. We Riverii have much more in common culturally with the Klingons than with you, I feel."

Kirk nodded. But he'd figured it out now and he didn't hesitate. "What the Klingons said about us is accurate. We don't easily kill our own if we can help it. But what is it to your people? Do you want some new friends, who you agree with on more issues…or do you want to win? If we seem strange to you ask yourself where it gets us. The Federation is one of the biggest powers in the galaxy and we're growing at an enormous rate. Can you argue with that?"

Rjav laughed again. "Fine, just fine Captain. But answer me this question: I have a Klingon armada hovering over my planet right now and your ship is crashed in the swamp. What would you propose to do about that if I decide to side with you?"

"Well I propose you fight Rjav." Jim said simply. "There will be an armada of Federation ships here in about a week and a half and this city is one of the most defensible I've ever seen. Your people are known to be skilled warriors and my men are prepared to fight…I don't see the problem."

Rjav laughed loudly. "I am glad that you are here Kirk. Your Ambassador Rogers is charming enough of course in his own way but I'm afraid he is not what I was looking for. Your arrival makes my choice very easy. The question of who Rivas sides with will be decided by traditional Riverii combat, as it should be. The winner will win our allegiance. The loser's forces will be permitted to leave the Doldrums with no further loss of life."

"What makes you think the Klingons would accept decision by combat?" Jim asked. "Or that they wouldn't simply open fire on the planet if their Commodore lost?"

Rjav seemed pleased by that idea. "Oh the Klingons are certainly within their rights to attack the planet after the combat if they choose. I said the loser's forces would be permitted, not that they would be obliged, to leave the Doldrums… At least not obliged by the agreement of the combat."

"You think you can take out the Klingons without us?" Jim asked cautiously.

"Captain we would have been perfectly capable of taking out the entire Klingon fleet without you." Rjave said. "My people are warriors to the core. Every Riverii on this planet is my soldier and they are a sight to behold in battle."

"But you were thinking of striking with the Klingons…" Jim began.

"Understand this Captain: if the Klingons had brought a big enough force to be a threat to us, every last Riverii on the planet would have died before striking a bargain with them." Rjav laughed shortly. "We Riverii are not the kind of people that can be forced into a bargain. You will see."

Jim considered for a moment. "What guarantee do I have that your force can defeat the Klingon force?" Kirk asked.

Rjav laughed again. "None Captain. Absolutely none at all. But then again…what choice do you have? If you refuse I will side with the Klingons and you and your men will become prisoners of war. I suppose if you fight and you win you could be included in the strategy if you like. How does that suit you?"

Rjav was right. What choice did he have?

Rjav spoke again, "Come now Kirk. What is this delay? You risk nothing but your own death in this wager and what is that to a commander?"

"I accept the combat." Kirk said. "But I've just run for the last day and I'm very tired. I request the combat be delayed until I can eat and rest."

Rjav smiled. "The tea will take care of that."

Kirk didn't catch the implication of that comment but Spock did. "What exactly is the format of a traditional Riverii combat?" He asked coolly.

"You do well to ask Mr. Spock. You are in for a treat. You will be the first off-worlder to witness something extraordinary I assure you. The main feature is of course the tea drunk by both combatants. It is an especially potent blend that the warrior class brews and most ordinary Riverii will never taste. Each fight is unique. Sometimes they last days, sometimes they last minutes but they are always passionate, beautiful things. You will see."

"They are fought in the dark I presume."

"Of course."

Jim caught the implication there. "No night-vision goggles?"

"Don't worry so much Kirk. When the tea kicks in you won't need those strange devices you off-worlders cling to so will be uselss to you." Rjav said scornfully.

"I accept the terms." Jim said without a moment's hesitation.

Rjav was right…what choice did he have?

They were taken below the city where the Riverii had already formed a living circle that parted swiftly to allow Rjav, Spock and him into the center. There were close to five hundred, by his estimation, which Kirk knew was almost the entire militia force in the city. Most carried the long blasting riffles that were the local equivalent of phasers (about the same principle as far as he could tell but longer and slightly more accurate over a great distance) and then some edge weapon of varying construct. Rihkal had not arrived yet.

He was offered his choice of an assortment of edged weapons. He choose a long axe-like weapon that he liked the heft of and thought would be useful against a Klingon whose reach was going to be about one and half times his own.

The Riverii were completely silent as they waited and not just in the sense that they didn't speak. He couldn't hear anyone shifting their weight as they stood or the crunch of any branches snapping under their feet as they moved across the ground. They stood perfectly still and not even the soft wind blowing over the plane made noise as it moved through the bodies, so in tune with their environment were these warriors.

"I suggest you use the time to prepare yourself." Rjav said to Kirk.

Kirk tried some stretches and limbering exercises but his muscles screamed in protest. Fear began to seep into him and not the useful kind. Even standing this long was almost too much for his fatigued legs. How could they expect him to fight? He was ready to lay down and he just wanted the fight to be over, one way or another. He was scared of death sure, but it had to be restful at least.

He realized that Spock had said something he hadn't heard over the roaring his ears. "What was that Spock?" He asked.

"I said, 'I wish I'd taught you how to meditate Captain.'" Spock said.

"You think that would help?" Kirk asked.

"I am sure it would be critically useful."  
"Well then I wish you had too."

"There is no time like the present to start." Spock said, stepping forward and putting his fingers on Jim's face before his Captain could protest.

The cold alien terrain of Spock's mind crashed through his as suddenly and unexpectedly as an iceberg through the wall of an Iowa farmhouse. Jim's fear, hot and human, fizzled against the immense calm and logic it was met with. Even if Spock couldn't make his legs any stronger or his muscles any less sore he could give Jim a cold detachment to his pain. And then, behind the calm, burst a wave of information that came as fast as Spock though Jim's human brain could process.

It wasn't exactly Spock's voice speaking to him because it wasn't a voice but it was something like a voice and it had the same crisp, pedantic tone as Spock's voice. Spock's non-voice said, **Rjav is right about the regenerative properties of the tea. You will be as strong as you ever are in combat. Trust your body, whatever you feel now. Don't try to ignore the effect of the tea. It is a hallucination but only in the sense that you will be receiving more information from your surroundings than you can process. Don't try to use your eyes but use your sight if you can. The Riverii have no word for maze: remember that when the tea hits. **

Spock stumbled slightly when he stepped away from Jim. He'd put a lot of his mental energy into the second mindmeld and Jim could tell he was beginning to feel fatigue.

"That's what meditation feels like?" Jim blurted out.

"You could reach that state on your own with about seventy years of practice." Spock said coolly.

"Might be worth it."

"Remember what I said about ignoring your hallucinations. If you try to fight Rikhal and the hallucinations you're not going to last long."

"Okay. Thanks Spock."

When Rikhal arrived on the combat field he roared at Kirk. He was even bigger in the flesh than Kirk had imagined: at least seven and a half feet tall and at least four hundred pounds of muscle. His teeth when he roared glowed green in Kirk's night-vision goggles and Jim imagined those sharp points ripping through his flesh like tissue. The roar echoed out over the plains and Kirk let it go unanswered.

Rikhal picked a sword almost as long as Kirk was tall. So much for being able to get through the Klingon's reach.

Rjav gave him a small glass of tea and said, "combat begins when both drink the tea. It ends when one stops breathing." Then he took away Kirk's goggles.

In the dark Kirk imagined that there was already four hundred pounds of Klingon hurtling towards him. He felt totally alone and totally vulnerable in the complete dark and silence. He drank the glass in a single swallow and his universe exploded around him. He would always remember what happened after that with great difficulty. It was like a dream: with a logic not entirely human. He was seeing something like how the Riverii experienced the world and when his human mind had returned it was difficult to remember the way in which events had strung together.

With a crack and a sickening explosion of pain the Rikhal's shoulder connected with his torso and he was knocked to the floor. A thump to his left told him that the Klingon had simply charged forward and swung his sword where he thought Kirk was. If he hadn't been about two feet off, the fight would have been over.

As it was, Kirk rolled to his feet and tried to shake off the feeling that he'd been hit by a truck. Like everything else, pain felt new and brutally poignant. His axe had been exploded out of his hands when the Klingon had hit him. There were flickering lights everywhere in his vision that he knew couldn't possibly be real. They were like colors but far to bright and vivid to be real. He shook his head, trying to clear them from his head but with no effect.

He dashed to one side and the tea plants he brushed by were like alarm bells. The Klingon charged and Jim survived by ducking down as the blade swung over it wildly. He only knew how lucky he'd been when he heard the whistle of the blade passing just over his head. He shivered. That had been too close.

He crouched and stayed still. He needed to find his axe.

What tools did he have?

Spock's non-voice said in his head, **don't trust your eyes but use your sight if you can.**

He realized that he'd been peering into the dark without even meaning to. He kept expecting his night vision to kick in and give him some dim outlines to work with. But in the pitch black that was no use. He closed his eyes and tried to tell himself that his eyes were not going to help him, no matter what he wanted.

He could hear the hearts around him beating. He knew that there were four hundred and seventy eight Riverii with him in the dark and exactly where they were. He knew where Spock and the Rihkal were without even trying. He wasn't exactly seeing them or even hearing them. He just knew where they were without effort. He felt them like drops of warm water on his skin.

That was a step in the right direction but he wanted his axe back.

He had a good sense when he was sober but space, a concept he found suddenly strange in the dark, had become difficult to gauge. How then to find his axe? The tea was like little bells in the slight breeze and he found that he could first hear and then began to see them with his eyes closed. Later he would describe it sort of as though the world was described in vibrating lines of blue and red but that was only the faintest approximation of the reality of it.

He felt exquisitely aware of everything around him and he suddenly knew what it meant not to understand what a maze was. He knew what it meant to fear nothing. The way forward would be clear to him when he saw it. For now he just breathed and consumed his surroundings with his voracious senses.

With his toe he searched around in the dirt near his feet carefully until he found a loose stone buried in the peat. He bent and picked it up, testing the weight with his hand. He tossed it to his left and as the Klingon dove after the noise, he lunged for the place where he could sense that the tea leaves had been tamped down by the weight of the axe plunging through their tops.

He stood quickly and turned to face the beating Klingon. He could hear his opponent's hard breathing like a blunt saw on his ears. But Rihkal wasn't breathing hard like someone who is exhausted or scared, merely like someone who is so full of adrenaline and rage that they are thinking of nothing but ripping someone limb from limb...slowly.

He hefted the axe and told himself that it wouldn't do any good to put off the fight. He moved back a little bit and shouted, "Come over here and see what happens to people who send boarding parties onto my ship Rihkal."

The Klingon charged.

Jim stepped aside and brough the axe down as hard as he could on the Klingon's wide back. The axe sliced easily through the armor but stuck in the Klingon's thick, tough flesh. Jim jerked but couldn't free it from his opponent's back.

Rihkal screamed in rage and pain and turned, swinging his sword wildly. Jim was lucky. He'd been holding onto his axe handle so hard that he was jerked to the ground and the sword whistled over him harmlessly for the second time. He rolled over and kicked hard for the hand holding the sword. He managed to get the sword out of the Klingon's grasp but in doing so he'd let Rihkal where he was and, unfortunately for him, that was just under his feet.

What felt like a thousand tons of Klingon dropped on top of him and began to deliver blows that would have been painful under normal circumstances but in his heightened awareness, were like nothing he'd ever experienced. He knew how to take a beating, but not this beating.

The air rushed out of his lungs and the universe exploded around him for the second time. He almost blacked out. But he kicked hard with his legs and managed to scramble a little way away from the Klingon, landing several blows to his opponent's face. He scrambled to his feet quickly. He could almost see his opponent now. The Klingon's panting breath was enough information for Jim to draw a complete picture and he concentrated on that. He kicked hard at his opponent's knees and rushed at him, managing to push him over onto his back, which drove the axe deeper into his back and made him scream with pain.

Jim put his foot over Rikhal's windpipe and pushed down, "Do you surrender?" He demanded in a pant.

For a moment there was silence on the floor.

"Do you surrender?" Jim repeated, louder.

The Klingon laughed. "You do not understand this planet Captain." He choked out. "There is no surrender. This combat ends with a death or it never ends."

Jim pushed his food down a little harder. "Rjav, I claim victory."

Only the sounds of the universe answered him. There was no talking during the combat, he remembered.

He hesitated and under him Rikhal exploded upward, throwing him back and then coming down on top of him again. The first blow to the side of his head made Jim gag it hurt so much. He kicked with his legs, panicking and thrashing with his legs. He was going to die, he thought heavily, here under this massive, sweaty Klingon his whole life was going to end and he was never going to know what Maddie Sparrow looked like when he slid his fingers into her.

He fought with his body but he tried not to panic. He reached out with his senses and realized that the sword he'd kicked from Rikhal's hands was only just two feet away from them. All the Klingon had to do was reach out and grasp the sword handle and the combat would be over. But he hadn't leaned to deal with the tea. Even the pattern of blows he rained down on Jim was wild and erratic. Rikhal was stronger, faster, a better fighter than Jim, but he wasn't smarter.

Jim made himself kick as hard as he could against the Klingon's chest. Pushing with his whole body and the newfound strength of the tea so that the Klingon had to rise away from him just a little bit as he threw out a hand and snagged the sword. He braced the sword against his belly and then let his legs down.

The Klingon came down like a ton of bricks, impaling himself on the sword he couldn't see. There was an agonized scream and the hot warmth of his last breath spilling over Jim's cheeks. Jim wasn't screaming but he was breathing heavily. With his last bit of strength the Klingon dug his fists in the flesh of Jim's arms like an embrace but one that dug about half an inch of long, jagged nail into him ten times over. He groaned in pain but kept the sword upright at all costs.

Next, Rjav came into his perception, exploding in a thousand colors. It was the first time he'd ever seen the Riverii the way he was meant to be seen and Jim could see a certain elegance in the race he never had before. They were built for this planet, every line evolved for the dark and damp.

He bent over Kirk and said. "You would have made a very good Riverii Captain. I would have killed you in adolescence to keep you from rising against me."

He became coherent again when they got back to the camp. Spock hoisted him up by putting one shoulder under Kirk's and he took most of Kirk's weight. Jim tried to walk but he was beginning to forget what feet were. Bones was waiting for him and Jim knew he was worried.

"What the hell is going on Jim?" He hissed. "Two Riverii showed up with Ambassador Rogers a couple of hours ago and demanded I throw him in the 'brig.' I've got two Ensigns watching him over in a tent behind the cantina."

"I'm the new Ambassador." Kirk said. "Also I just fought the Klingon Commodore Rikhal in hand-to-hand combat for rights to an alliance with the planet."

"Please tell me this is your idea of a joke Jim."  
He shook his head. "It's not. But it might be the Riverii's idea of a joke. Anyway the Riverii just told the Klingons that they won't be joining their side…it's a long story. Bones did you know that I can feel your heart beating? Isn't that cool? I can feel which of your aortas is pumping at any second. Right now it's the…left one!"

Bones turned to Spock for an explanation. "The Captain has drunk some of the Riverii tea. The Riverii claim that when he stops hallucinating in about seven hours he will feel like he's just woken from a week's bed rest. I think however he should be examined in the medical tent as a precautionary measure." Spock said mildly.

"I'm fine…." Jim trilled drunkenly.

"When he…He'll be fine when he stops hallucinating in about seven hours?" Bones almost shouted. "What the fuck does that mean?"

"Don't fight." Jim said. "Okay Spock…okay. I'll go to the medical tent. See how cooperative I am Bones? And you say I'm a difficult patient."

Bones rolled his eyes. "Yeah, you're a peach Jim."

* * *

In Maddie's dreams she was running through the emerald-green swamps again when she found herself unexpectedly at Tom's childhood home, which rose out of the swamp like magic. Inside she found Tom at the stove, watching a pot cook. She tried to call out to him and for a long time he didn't answer. She shook him and then he turned and she saw that his neck was broken. His head dangled weirdly to one side. How had she not noticed that? She tried to jerk away but his hands, cold and clammy, grabbed her roughly though his eyes stayed shut.

"How could you do this to me Maddie?" He asked accusingly.

"I didn't mean to…I didn't mean to…" She sobbed, trying to squirm away from him. Did she imagine the feeling of straps holding her down, making sure she couldn't get away? Somehow she knew that she was in this kitchen but she was also on the battle bridge of the enterprise, tangled in her safety belt again.

"If it weren't for you I would never have come aboard the Enterprise." He shouted.

"I know…I know…I'm sorry." She moaned, paralyzed by fear.

He grabbed her hands and forced her to take the lid off the pot on the stove. Millions and millions of tiny black spiders came bursting out, boiling over the sides of the pot and over her hands, biting her and swarming up her arms. She screamed and fought against his grip. "Stop it…please Tom…Stop it." She sobbed, tears rising in her throat and making her choke out her words.

He opened his mouth again and spoke with Kirk's voice, "Wake up Maddie! Wake up Maddie!"

She opened her eyes and found that she was sitting up in a strange bed and it was Kirk's hand that were grabbing her wrists and holding her still. He was sitting on the edge of her bed looking apprehensively at her. He looked as if he thought she might keep screaming when she saw who it was. He let her wrists go now that she'd stopped struggling. She slumped forward against her knees and let out a big, shuddering sob of relief. 'It was just a dream, it was just a dream' she chanted to herself.

Kirk put his warm hand on her bare back and she felt like warmth radiated out from there through her body, which was icy numb from fear. "Bad dream?" He asked mildly.

She tried to laugh but it got tangled in another heaving sob that made her chest shake convulsively. "You could say that." She managed between sobs.

"Let me go get you a nurse…" Jim said, standing and taking his hand off her back.

Her head shot up. "Please don't." Her voice cracked and she sounded so pathetic. "I mean…I don't need a nurse. It was just a bad dream…I'm okay now. You don't have to do anything. Can you just stay?"

He looked as if that was about the last thing he wanted to do but he nodded anyway and sat back down on the bed. But he didn't put his hand back on her back and he couldn't bring himself to look at her. She resolved herself to get back under control. She felt ashamed that he'd seen her like this. She tried a few deep breaths and found that the panic was beginning to dissipate a little now. "How long was I out?"

"Eighteen hours without a sedative. You should be proud of that." He said, risking a little grin in her direction.

She returned it. "What happened?" She asked.

"The Klingons are leaving. There isn't going to be a siege. In another twelve hours reserves from Star Fleet will be here. We're evacuating all the crew from the planet at that time to Star Base and except for a minimal compliment that will stay behind to repair the battle bridge. You and the rest of the diplomatic crew will be returning to Earth on the USS Intrepid leaving in about twenty hours."

"What? Just like that? The Klingons have twelve hours and they aren't going to attack?"

"Well they might attack but the Riverii are more than capable of taking care of them. I don't think the fight is going to come to us."

"I thought…I thought there was going to be a siege."

"We thought so too."

"Well what changed?"

Kirk smiled. "Let's just say that I think we underestimated the Riverii ability to defend themselves. The Klingons certainly did." He said.

"What are you talking about Jim?" She asked.

He didn't really want to tell her about the fight for some reason and he wasn't sure why. Usually he loved telling girls about his daring adventures but those girls were usually thousands of light years away from danger and two drinks into a wild Friday night. He felt like this girl wasn't going to look up at him with lust and admiration. He felt like she might be scared or even angry with him. But if he didn't tell her, Uhura would later and he was sure that she'd make him sound like an idiot somehow.

"After we parted ways outside the transport Spock and I went up to the capitol building and deposed Ambassador Rogers for keeping information from us. The information he'd been keeping from us turned out to be that the Riverii were thinking about cutting a deal with the Klingon Empire instead of the Federation. We would have all become prisoners of war."

She swallowed. "Okay."

"Rjav decided that since I was the new ambassador and I was a warrior the answer could be settled with traditional Riverii combat between the Klingon Commodore and me…I won."

"Who is Rjav?" She asked.

"He's the…he's like the president of the planet's government."

She swallowed. "And what is 'traditional Riverii combat?'"

"It means we drank the tea and fought in the dark." Jim explained. "And with Riverii weapons."

"And you won?"

He took offense to the incredulous note in her voice. "Yeah I won." He said. "Jesus…thanks for the vote of confidence."

She didn't seem to be interested in soothing his offended masculine pride. "How could they ask you to do that?" She said angrily. She sounds like she's going to call the Riverii's mothers later and let them know what they've been up to, Jim thought with a grin. "After a run like that and against and opponent like that?"

"The Riverii said that the tea would take care of that. I guess they weren't wrong." Jim said. "It did change everything about the combat. They say that the traditional combat is designed to bring out your warrior spirit."

He chuckled. "Bones says that it has some interesting and highly potent medicinal qualities but if I ever mention my 'warrior spirit' ever again he will write testimony to Star Fleet that I was permanently unbalanced by the hallucinations and unfit for command duty."

She laughed at that too. "I think he speaks for all of us on that count Jim."

Jim laughed. "Are you sure you haven't been talking to Uhura? That's almost verbatim what she said."

"Would he have killed you? If he had won I mean." She asked softly.

"He didn't."

She wiped away the last of her tears with the back of her hand "Where am I?"

He looked uncomfortable. "I hope it's all right that I asked Bones to put you in my room. We're staying in something like a Riverii hotel and there just aren't enough rooms…"

She smiled. "It's just fine." It was better than fine. "Though since I got here first doesn't that make this my room?"

He shook his head and grinned, finally turning his face to meet hers. "Nope. Just because you can't stay up late with the big kids doesn't mean you get the big bunk and unlimited time in the bathroom. Sorry Maddie, no dice."

She looked at the two twin beds in the room. "Well I think Doctor McCoy put me in the better bed. I think that makes it my room…"

"We can fix that…" Jim threatened. He put one hand under her knees and pulled her quickly toward the side of the bed.

She squealed, laughed and tried to push him her away with her arms so he couldn't get a grip on her torso. "No, no, no." She giggled.

But he had a good grip on her legs and slid her to the edge of the bed easily. She realized that she wasn't going to win a wrestling match with him so she waited until he leaned forward, across her body to put his arm under her back so he cold scoop her up. She gripped a handful of his uniform just over his heart and pulled his face down close her hers. For a long moment they stayed like that, neither moving either forward or back.

Maddie had enough time to wonder if she was making a mistake, the wonder what Jim thought of her and then decide she didn't care. She hadn't felt human, hadn't felt her body (or anything much other than fear) for more than a day. But when he touched her, she could feel her body respond and relax. She wanted this more than she wanted anything else.

"Please Jim…" She started to say. She didn't know what she was going to say but it didn't matter.

With an almost inhuman effort Jim made himself say, "You're returning to Earth in twenty hours and I have no idea when I am going to be there next Maddie."

"Please…" She repeated.

He didn't need to be asked a third time. His lips pressed gently to hers and she kissed back languidly, letting the feeling of slowness and gentleness sink into her body. He brought the hand that had been under her knees up. He pushed it slowly up her ribs, flicking it lightly across her breast and then pushing it into her hair, letting his fingers tangle in clean but tangled mass. They lay together for several moments, kissing. She opened her mouth and he slipped his tongue in but gently, and slowly. She began to feel her body fully again and then began to be overly aware of it. Her skin began to become sensitive and there was something waking up in her core.

She pulled at his shirt and he pulled it over his head. She pulled him down so she could feel the heat of his body through the thin fabric of her nightgown. They began to kiss more passionately and need began to crack open in both of them. She stopped wanting him to go slow and he was more than willing to oblige. He broke the kiss and slid his hand back down her body. He pulled her knees legs back onto the bed, sliding her up so her head was on the pillow and climbing after her onto the bed.

Her eyes were wide with lust and her lips were slightly swollen from the kiss, which had become a little rough at the end. She was unbelievably beautiful.

He slid his hand up her leg, pushing the flimsy skirt of her clothes out of the way. She jerked under him when his fingers made contact and he smiled into her mouth. Jim had slept with enough women to know that, somehow, no two ever want the same thing. He knew being a good lover is usually about taking the time to ask and then, often, practice. But she was so charged and wrought and wet already that everything felt good. If he wanted to keep sleeping with her after this, he'd have to learn what she wanted. But for now, she seemed to spring to life without any effort. He slid a finger into her and then two and she writhed and made little gasping noises. "God…Jesus…Jim." She moaned.

Her fingers went to his belt buckle and when he sat up slightly on the bed, she did too. He pushed the little camisole over her hips and then pulled it over her head cleanly. For a moment he was caught cold by his reaction to her body. Her skin was pale and perfect in the warm golden light of the emergency lanterns they'd put up in the room. Her breasts were small but perfectly shaped, ending in small pale-pink nipples. Her long hair hung down her bare, smooth back in perfect curls and her eyes were bright and warm.

She stopped trying to take his pants off and looked at him shyly. "What?" She asked.

He swallowed. He couldn't answer: 'You are so beautiful with your clothes off that I can't wait to be inside of you,' wouldn't work and either would, 'I am never going to look at you ever again without thinking about how perfect your nipples are.' Instead he bent and took one into his mouth, flicking his tongue over it first lightly and then making her squirm and gasp. He put his fingers back to what they'd been doing and her panting reached a fever pitch.

"J-Jim…i-if you don't stop now I'm going to come." She stuttered into his shoulder.

"Good." He said. He wanted to see what she looked like at the moment of orgasm so he pushed her back against the pillows and redoubled his efforts. Her eyes were wide but unfocused and her lips were wet and slightly parted. Her breath was coming in gasps now and she was grinding her hips into his hand. She was panting and arching her back as if she was trying to reduce the sensation, which was too intense. He realized that she was already coming. Her panting turned into this little repetitive 'huh' that had an edge to it that sounded almost like she was in pain. He slowed down, keeping his hand cupped to her but letting her control the amount of stimulation. Finally she stopped and let herself fall back against the sheets fully. She tried twice to refocus her eyes before she seemed to get it right.

He grinned and nuzzled himself slightly against her neck. Her breathing slowed to a normal rate and he brought his hand up and tangled it in her hair, breathing in the scent of her slickness mingling wither hair. Her chest slowly stopped heaving though he could feel her heart still beating double time as he slide his hand past the pulse point in her neck. "How was that?" He asked sweetly.

Faster than he could keep up with she hooked one leg under his hips and with a burst of strength he would not have expected her to be capable of, rolled him under her. "Get you pants off Jim." She ordered, leaning down to growl into his ear.

A jolt of arousal went through him like lightening, almost painful in its intensity, He was sure that from where she was sitting she'd felt it. "You're straddling my hips Maddie." He pointed out, trying to keep his voice even.

She took off his belt and then moved from straddling his legs to kneeling beside them so she could pull his pants and briefs off over his feet. Almost as an afterthought she took of his socks and threw them off the side of the bed. He sat up and tried to regain control of the situation back from her but she put a hand of his chest to stop him. That made him hesitate long enough for her to lean down and put her mouth over him and that stopped him dead in his tracks. He let out an involuntary shuddering gasp at the intensity of the sensation. Like her he was fucking with the abandon of someone who has just seen death brush by them in the dark and wants to remind themselves what living really means. The exquisite feeling of her hot mouth on him, which would have been normally intense, was magnified a hundred fold by the intensity of the situation.

He would have liked to spend a little more time enjoying this part but like her, everything just seemed to feel more intense and he was ready too quickly. She knew it and pulled back and straddled his hips again. He was a little big for her and she had to go slowly. Once he was fully in she gave herself a moment to adjust. He'd been a little too ready to start off with though and he appreciated the time to cool off a little bit. Besides the feeling of her tight and hot around him was exquisite. It felt safe. Nothing bad could ever happen to them while they were doing this.

She started to move, slow but long. She was being careful and she was only okay at being on top, but she found her stride eventually. He helped her by moving his own hips to match the pace she set. He put one hand on either hip so he could put her just where he wanted her. She began to pant again and then to loose her rhythm. She was going to come again, he realized.

He moved one hand to her lower back and the next time she moved so he was fully in her, he rolled her back underneath him and picked the rhythm back up. She went over the falls first and this time it was less intense, though nicer somehow. Her first had seemed painfully intense; this one was mellow and sweet. She let her head roll back and her eyes close. She sighed contentedly and relaxed into it.

He'd been trying to hold out until she was finished and came shortly after. He drove into her hard one last time and pressed the full weight of his body into her. She found his hand with hers and he locked his fingers between them, forcing her hands above her head and pushing them down into the pillow. "Jesus Maddie." He growled into her ear.

In the primal part of his brain there were too many things happening for him to make them all complete thoughts. There was the exploding physical feeling, which came in waves of pleasure that made him shudder. It was important, he felt, to press Maddie into the bed and to feel as much of her soft pale skin against as he could. There was the emotional aspect of being in such a tumultuous, uncertain situation. That made him want to push her all the harder into the bed. As long as she was here, soft and alive underneath him, she wouldn't be out getting hurt. It lasted for what felt like eternity.

But finally the moment ebbed away and rational thought returned to his brain. He wasn't going to be able to keep Maddie Sparrow's lithe little body underneath him forever. She probably wouldn't consent to it and someone would wonder where they were eventually and come knock on the door. He pulled out of her and rolled to the side of the bed.

They lay side-by-side, both panting and naked and staring at the ceiling. "That was worth the run." She said matter-of-factly. She sounded like she was joking but not kidding, he realized with a moment of intense pride.

He smiled. "Oh yeah?"

"Please don't tell me you have somewhere you have to be. And don't put your pants back on if you know what's good for you."

"If I have some place to be they're going to have to get along without me." He said, turning his head to face her. He could see her smile in profile.

"Listen, about how I behaved to you earlier…after the crash I mean." He began. "I should apologize for the way I treated you."

She turned to face him, propping herself up on one elbow and looking confused. "What do you mean?"

"If I seemed cold or…" He started. He was thinking about the moment when he'd pushed her sobbing body at Uhura and told her to "take care of it." He was thinking about the moment when they'd gotten off that first transport vehicle after the run and the accusing look on Bone's face when he found her shoulder injury on his scanner.

She frowned and propped herself up on one elbow. "I know I can't be your priority during a ship-wide crisis Jim. I'm not a total idiot." She sounded mad, though not at him.

"Hey, did I say you were an idiot?" He asked, propping himself on one elbow too so they were facing each other.

"No, I know." She sighed. "I'm not mad at you…really I'm not. I mean if anyone should be apologizing, it's me. I wasn't even supposed to be on the bridge, much less sobbing and asking not to be left behind."

"You did really well." He said quietly.

She shook her head. "I can't believe I made a scene like that. And don't say something like how I don't 'have the same level of training' as the rest of you or something like that okay?"

"Okay," He agreed with a frown, "But that's all I really can say about it. Everyone else on that ship has had four years longer than you to prepare. And then most of us get those kinds of first experiences you just had over a period of at least months, usually years. Why would you think that you would be as good at what we do as we are? None of us can cook as well as you can."

"That's not the same." She said.

Jim knew better than to argue. He knew about measuring yourself with an internal standard that was more stringent than any external one ever would be. He knew about what it meant to feel responsible for the death of someone. And he knew that the only redemption she could get wasn't anything he could give.

He said, "You do what you have to do to square it with yourself Maddie but in my book you deserve an honorable mention. Besides…I didn't hate all of your reaction." He grinned at her naked body.

She laughed at that but put her hand over her eyes. "Oh, I am a hot mess."

"Hey, hey," he caught her hands and pulled them close to his body. "I hope you don't regret what just happened." He ducked his head down so she looked up at him, meeting his eyes, and couldn't help but see his questioning look.

She shook her head vigorously. "No Jim, of course not…How can you even ask that." She said quickly. "It's just…well I sort of threw myself at you."

His brows came together. "If anyone should know better Maddie it's me." He said quietly. "I hope you don't come to regret this later."

She turned her hands over in his so now she was sort of holding his hands, instead of the other way around. "I won't ever regret this." She said solemnly.

She couldn't know that of course. She'd just come through the most traumatic moment of her life and she was feeling strongly about him and her situation right now but that was no indication of how she would feel when she got back to Earth. She might come to hate him in the next two months. She might come to feel he'd taken advantage of her emotional state…which he might have.

But what was done was done and Jim wasn't to get somber about a possibility that was months away. Not when she was still naked and only feet away. He jerked her forward and kissed her until she was breathless. He grinned down at her plumb, red lips. "I promise if we ever get to go on a second date it won't be as exciting as this okay? We can stay in and watch a holo-vid or something."

She giggled. "I don't know…a girl gets used to a certain level of stimulation and nothing can really compare…"

He cocked an eyebrow. "Oh I didn't say there would be less stimulation."

She grinned coquettishly. "I don't know what you're talking about Mr. Kirk. I am a proper young lady."

He stood and kissed her once more. "Oh I think you're something much better than that." He said.

They slept together that night in that room and made love again several times. Maddie only slept a little but she liked listening to Jim breath. She felt like she could listen to that sound for hours because somehow it kept her from thinking about everything that had happened and the fact that she was leaving in the morning. It was a strange night in a lot of ways.

They'd been thrown into a heightened intimacy that was fundamentally false but intoxicatingly sweet. They didn't know each other really but for the time being it was convenient, almost necessary, to forget that. It let them pretend to be in love for these few hours they were lovers. Maddie felt like the warmth of Jim's body in the bed was radiating a heat that made her skin feel raw with pleasure and filled her with the bittersweet knowledge that she was leaving. She didn't feel hollow or even chilly on the inside but she felt filled with a warm sadness that was more profound than it had any right to be.

Jim, for his part, knew better than to worry about what came next. For the time being his crew was safe and there was a warm, lithe body in his bed. He would have liked to have gotten to know her a little bit more perhaps: she was unlike anyone else he'd ever met and that was something that he found more attractive than almost anything. But he'd always know she was a little too rich for his blood and even if she wasn't leaving in the morning, she would have been leaving eventually. This way was more elegant. He felt a little relieved if truth be told.

When he woke in the morning she and Jim made love one more time, this time a little more slowly but no less passionately. They both knew it was going to be the last time they ever did it and they made it last. After that they both put on their clothes and left the room. They didn't hold hands or kiss after that but he walked her to the medical tent where Dr. McCoy was going to clear her to leave Rivas. Jim looked at her for a long moment before leaving and said, "it was a pleasure having you aboard Maddie."

"Thanks for everything Jim."

She watched his back as he walked away and he didn't look back.

She cried when she said goodbye to Uhura and she hugged Spock even though she didn't feel like he liked it. Then she and the other chefs were climbing on the transport vessel and Rivas was disappearing behind, first in the dark and then in the vaporous mist when they left the atmosphere.

The other chefs were elated to be leaving and talking about the first food they were going to eat when they got back to Earth. Most were saying how they would never leave the planet again. "What about you Maddie?" Davis asked.

"Oh me? Strawberries I guess. A whole carton." She said.

"No I mean that was a crazy trip, right?"

She nodded. "Right. Crazy trip."

"Thank God it's over."

"Yeah…Thank God."

**Author's Note: Whew! Well that's all she wrote! I'd sure love it if you guys would review…let me know what you thought of the story, the sex scene, the characterization of the cannon characters, my new character…all that jazz. There might be an epilogue or a sequel if you do!**

**Confidential to the people who reviewed: First of all thank you guys all so much! Feedback is always appreciated and then carefully considered. The consensus is pretty positive towards the way I write Kirk but people are having (completely legitimate) problems with Maddie. Just for you Scarlett I went back and changed the part where she sort of comforts Kirk before the run in the fourth chapter. I actually put that in at the last minute because I wanted them to have some sort of tender moment and connect with each other right before the climax but I think you're right so I've changed it back.**

**Also I'm going to try to go back through the story and try to make two points I consider very important clearer. The first is that that Kirk and Maddie aren't in love but rather in lust with each other. The main idea I would base a sequel around (and why I'm considering writing one is how tantalizing I find this idea) is to explore the idea of how they would establish some sort of emotional connection after the physical one has already been cracked open. The second is that, in my imagination, Maddie is a woman hanging on by her fingernails while everything seems to explode around her. It may take a couple of days but I'll go put in more of her turmoil and Kirk's emotional distance.**

**One question though: how was the sex scene? First I've ever written….**


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